Phill Jupitus : [during a round about the sinking of the Titanic]  Is it true that someone dressed as a lady to escape detection?
Stephen Fry : Yes, apparently it is true because it was women and children first.
Bill Bailey : [laughs]  I thought you said "someone dressed as a *baby*"
Phill Jupitus : [putting on posh accent]  "Yes, goo-goo indeed. I have a lollipop and I have no control over my urinary functions. I am, in fact, an infant. And I know you think I'm Lord Albermal, but I am in fact a little baby. With a beard. Yes, goo-goo, gaa-gaa. And Madam, may I tell you I've been a very naughty baby."!
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Phill Jupitus : Alan Rickman's Fridge Gunk?

Phill Jupitus : Good Vendor of Shoes! How many BARLEYCORNS am I this fine day?

Stephen Fry : "Shagging the Dog"? This is a phrase in Canada, is it?
Guest : It means having a Lazy Day. Like "Shagging the Sheep".
Stephen Fry : Might be common practise around here, but not a figure of Speech.
Guest : You know, with a Lady, you have to woo her, take her to Dinner, but with the Dog it's just "Here, boy!"
Phill Jupitus : Again, I must correct you there!
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Stephen Fry : If you put 5 Species of Sponge in a Blender they will separate out and reform again afterwards.
Phill Jupitus : Like Terminator 2!
Stephen Fry : I tried it with Chihuahuas but it didn't work.
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Phill Jupitus : I WANT DONKEY CHEESE!

Phill Jupitus : [Eddie Izzard Voice]  Oh really? Oh really? Great. True Story.

Stephen Fry : The Hindenburg was filled with Hydrogen, which of course is incrensely dangerous...
Phill Jupitus : What have I told you about not reading Jabberwocky before you come on?
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