Martin Payne, Sheneneh Jenkins, Jerome, Edna 'Mama' Payne, Roscoe, King Beef, Bob, Elroy, Various, Voice of Announcer
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is....Show more »
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is. I don't care if she's black, white, green, or whatever.
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gott...Show more »
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
Show less «
Show less «
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!Show more »
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too mu...Show more »
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
Show less «
Show less «
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don...Show more »
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
Show less «
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is....Show more »
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is. I don't care if she's black, white, green, or whatever.
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gott...Show more »
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
Show less «
Show less «
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!Show more »
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too mu...Show more »
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
Show less «
Show less «
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don...Show more »
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
Show less «
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is....Show more »
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is. I don't care if she's black, white, green, or whatever.
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gott...Show more »
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
Show less «
Show less «
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!Show more »
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too mu...Show more »
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
Show less «
Show less «
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don...Show more »
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
Show less «
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
Show less «
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
Show less «
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is....Show more »
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is. I don't care if she's black, white, green, or whatever.
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
Show less «
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
Show less «
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
Show less «
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
Show less «
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gott...Show more »
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
Show less «
Show less «
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
Show less «
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!Show more »
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Show less «
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
Show less «
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
Show less «
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Show less «
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
Show less «
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
Show less «
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
Show less «
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too mu...Show more »
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
Show less «
Show less «
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don...Show more »
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
Show less «
Show less «
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Damn it, Tommy! We don't need umbilical cords! This is TV!
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin'...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor.
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : What's up?
Martin : Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' later.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
Martin : Ummm... how 'bout 6:43?
Cole : I'm busy at 6:43... but I'm free at 6:44 though.
Martin : Oh, all right. Then at 6:44, I'ma be waitin' on that ass-whoopin'.
Show less «
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still livin...Show more »
Cole : I'll see you in Hell, Martin!
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Martin : Yeah, you'll be the only one down there still living with your mother!
Show less «
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you do...Show more »
Valentino : I told you, you could super-size it!
Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
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Sheneneh : I told you!... I'm a lady, and you don't disrespect no lady! You better watch your back!
Valentino : Sheneneh, I can't buy nothin' with $5!
Sheneneh : You can buy a one-way ticket to get the hell outta my face!
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Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Pam, your hair is so nappy Wilson couldn't pick it!
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother M...Show more »
Martin : Brother Man, whatcha doin' here, man?
Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
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Brother Man : Nothin'...
[pause]
Brother Man : ...just chillin'.
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Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : [repeated line; to Tommy] You ain't GOT no job, man!
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is....Show more »
Martin : Tommy, it's all good. If you like her, then we like her. It don't matter what color she is. I don't care if she's black, white, green, or whatever.
Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
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Cole : [laughing] Martin, c'mon now! You know you'd be trippin' if Tommy was dating a green girl.
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Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bri...Show more »
Martin : Stanks a lot, Pam.
Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
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Tommy : My mama always told me, if she can't use your comb, don't bring her home!
Cole : Tommy, you dated a white girl in college!
Tommy : Oh, no, she wasn't white! She was French!
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[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all ...Show more »
[Two midgets want Tommy to step outside with them]
Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
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Martin : [ready to rumble] Tommy, you all right? Want me to come with you?
Tommy : Martin, c'mon now! I can handle this on my own. I mean, what they gonna do? Untie my shoes?
[laughs hysterically]
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Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Sheneneh : Kid, can you kiss me like you did that light-skinned girl in House Party?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Martin : Pam, do you prefer to be called "Ms." or "Mr."?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
Pam : Do you prefer "Jack" or "Ass"?
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome'...Show more »
[repeated line]
Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
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Jerome : [singing] Uh-uh! Uh-uh-uh! I say Jerome's in da house! I say Jerome's in da hou-oo-ah-oo - In da house!
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Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : Cole, I got four words to say to you - Un, em, ploy, ment!
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gott...Show more »
Martin : [about Cole's lousy new apartment] Cole, c'mon now! This place is so small, that you gotta go outside to change your mind!
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[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
[repeated line]
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Get to steppin'! Step!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Martin : Cole! No! You are NOT cuttin' yo' crusty-ass toenails up in here!
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be wat...Show more »
Mama Payne : Every move you make, every breath
[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
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[sniffs]
Mama Payne : you take... I'll be watching you!
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Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!Show more »
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
Gina : Struck by lightning, stay away from me!
Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
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Martin : The Lord know I just be playin' around!
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Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
Martin : Bruh-Man! it's 3 in the morning! What are you doin' up in here?
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
[repeated line]
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : WAZZUP!
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' ...Show more »
Martin : Pam, is that your breath smellin' like boiled bologna?
Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
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Pam : No, that's yo' feet eatin' through those shoes again.
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[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money t...Show more »
[Gary Coleman guest stars as "Maddog"]
Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
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Maddog : Let me tell you, I'm gonna start making money the right way. I'm a florist now.
Martin : What'chu talkin' 'bout, Maddog?
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Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Cole : [pulls out p...Show more »
Martin : Cole, do me a favor. Remind me to give you an ass-whoopin' tomorrow.
Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
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Cole : [pulls out pen & pad] What time is good for you?
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Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Sheneneh : [shouting] Is that your wife, or is your dog walking backwards?
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Pam : You know I'm sen...Show more »
Martin : You know I'm sensitive about my job, you didn't have to go there!
Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
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Pam : You know I'm sensative about my buck shots, you didn't have to go there!
Martin : There's a difference, a good job is hard to come by, but they got Dark & Lovely on damn near every corner you pass!
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Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I ...Show more »
Stan Winters : Umm girl, you got fire and spice.
Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
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Sheneneh : Oh you said two keywords. You said I have fire and spice. So stay away fo' I burn yo' ass up!
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Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll g...Show more »
Mama Payne : Yo' applehead stole my boy!
Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
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Rev. Love : If I was still living that foul life, I'll get Franklins, but I'm not!
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Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Cole : He said the stew was ...Show more »
Pam : Martin was the one who said Cole was a virgin until he was 23!
Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
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Cole : He said the stew was so bad, the homeless give it back!
Martin : I love the stew, baby! It looked like Alpo, but I loved it!
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Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too mu...Show more »
Mama Payne : Oh don't play dumb with me, Gina! You know damn well what this is about! You got too much head to be stupid! You didn't even invite me to the wedding! I'm still pissed about that... Thin Thighs!
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[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
Martin : That's just Pam, letting...Show more »
[At haunted house, a howling sound comes from the background]
Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
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Martin : That's just Pam, letting us know she's all right.
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Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Sheneneh : Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don...Show more »
Martin : Cole, the next time you think about getting another place, I don't wanna hear about it. Don't even call me!
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Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Sheneneh : Oh, my goodness! Somebody get me the witness protection program!
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : I keep having these nightmares. You ever have them?
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
Martin : When you're with Pam, read the signs. When you feed bears, they follow ya home!
HD
Annabelle: Creation
IMDb: 7
2017
109 min
Country: United States
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Mystery
Twelve years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into ...
