Gladstone Screwer : I'll call you "Sunday".
Matron : Well, I won't be in.

Matron : I'm sorry doctor but I cannot stay with that man any longer.
Dr. Jimmy Nookey : Why, what happened?
Matron : I'd rather not say. All they think about is whisky and sex.
Dr. Jimmy Nookey : Well where he comes from they can't get soda.
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Gladstone Screwer : You don't have to move out, you know. It's a big bed.
Matron : Well as I told you earlier today, I'm not your sort of woman.
Gladstone Screwer : I don't mean anything nasty. I'll marry you first.
Matron : Marry me? Are you mad? Marry me in the middle of the night?
Gladstone Screwer : Where I come from it's a very simple ceremony.
[He produced a knife. Matron screams] 
Gladstone Screwer : It's all right, nothing to worry about. We just make a quick cut in each other's left hand, put them together, say "We are one" and it's all legal.
Matron : Oh... I see... sort of instant wedlock?
Gladstone Screwer : That's it. Only out there they call it a bleedin' ceremony.
Matron : Yes, they often call it that here too.
Gladstone Screwer : Right, are you ready then?
Matron : No! I have no urge to marry you.
Gladstone Screwer : Oh, don't worry about that. The urge comes later!
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