Willoughby Whitfield : We understand your position Mrs. Steinmetz. That's why Mr. Hawk has authorized...
Grandma Steinmetz : Don't tell me you're from Alonzo Hawk?
Willoughby Whitfield : Yes.
Grandma Steinmetz : Oh, and you have such a nice face.
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Willoughby Whitfield : Please, Miss Harris, I can't believe Uncle Alonzo would do things like that.
Nicole Harris : Wait a minute! Uncle? He's your uncle?
Willoughby Whitfield : Yes. That's how I happen to know Uncle Alonzo has a heart...
Nicole Harris : You rotten spy!
[she takes a lobster from the waiter's tray and smacks Willoughby, knocking him over the railing and into the water] 
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Willoughby Whitfield : [rehearsing to his mirror]  Uncle Alonzo, I've dropped by to talk to you man to man, so I can look you squarely in the eye.
[he dabs makeup around his eye] 
Willoughby Whitfield : No, I'm wearing make-up because of a black eye. A girl hit me in the face with a boiled lobster the moment I mentioned your name.
[glances at his note cards] 
Willoughby Whitfield : This same wonderful, intelligent, clear-sighted girl was able to convince me what kind of a person you really are.
[looks at notes] 
Willoughby Whitfield : I do not hold with your scheme of cheating Mrs. Steinmetz out of her home so that you may build your concrete anthill on the spot where she has known so much happiness. Hm.
[looks at notes] 
Willoughby Whitfield : I think you are despicable, greedy, grasping, and wholly without principle or pity.
[pause] 
Willoughby Whitfield : I also believe you are not a nice person.
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Willoughby Whitfield : [at the end of his rehearsal speech to his uncle]  Please do not send us any more fruit for Christmas.
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Willoughby Whitfield : Why do you pretend to talk to this car? Some people might wonder.
Nicole Harris : Don't listen to him, Herbie. Just move it.
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Loostgarten : Loostgarten speaking.
Willoughby Whitfield : [imitating Hawk's voice over the telephone]  This is Alonzo Hawk.
Loostgarten : Right, Mr. Hawk.
Willoughby Whitfield : Loostgarten, there's been a slight change in plan. I don't want you to knock down the firehouse tonight. Instead I want you to knock down 343 Oleander Heights. You got that, 343 Oleander Heights?
Loostgarten : Right.
Willoughby Whitfield : [quickly spoken]  Write it down! I don't want you to be blackballed in the wrecking ball buisness. If you know what I mean.
[then he chuckles quickly] 
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Willoughby Whitfield : [as they go for a ride in Herbie]  Let's stop kidding ourselves, okay? This is just an ordinary little car. Like a million other ordinary, rather unattractive...
[suddenly, Herbie takes off down the road] 
Nicole Harris : I don't think you should've said that. Herbie's very sensitive about his appearance!
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Willoughby Whitfield : [as he paid the taxi driver]  Here.
Taxi Driver : Thanks pal.
Willoughby Whitfield : Ah, isn't it breathtaking?
Taxi Driver : Its a mess all right. That guy, Hawk, oughta be hung.
Willoughby Whitfield : What?
[the taxi driver drove away, as Willoughby asked him, what] 
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Willoughby Whitfield : Good morning, Miss Milicent.
Secretary : Good morning.
Willoughby Whitfield : Mrs. Steinmeintz!
Secretary : I told you Mr. Hawk was busy.
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Nicole Harris : I'm sorry I punched you the first time I met you.
Willoughby Whitfield : Oh, that's okay.
Nicole Harris : And it wasn't very ladylike of me to hit you with a boiled lobster.
Willoughby Whitfield : It's okay.
Nicole Harris : You can hit me back if you want.
Willoughby Whitfield : [shaking his head]  That isn't exactly what I had in mind.
[They kiss] 
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