Anthony Jeselnik

Do whatever you want, whenever you want to do it and, as long as you look confident, no one will give you any shit. Put that on the back of a locket, then swallow it. Show less «

There's so many different comics. It's the same reason that Metallica doesn't have a responsibility to country music fans when they make an album. You know, why should I answer to you? I'm doing exactly what I think is funny, and I have an audience for it. There are plenty of other comedians out there you can go enjoy. I don't feel like I should change for someone's random opinion. And the people who hate me for certain things, there are people who love me for those exact same things. So you just have to let that go and I don't feel I need to respond to anyone's question about it. Show less «

[on his type of comedy] You can't expect everyone to laugh or applaud you for doing edgy things. Sometimes you'll miss. But I think comedians are artists and there's a value in failure. It kind of works both ways between comedians and audiences. The audience has to understand that comedians are going to sometimes tell a joke that doesn't work out with dark subjects, and the comedian has to understand that sometimes they 'll fail and it's not the audience's fault for not getting it or loving it. Show less «

The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say: 'Not today, you bastards.' Show less «

It's not that big of a deal. It's just comedy. They're just jokes.