[on the Simpsons bar Moe's Tavern and taverns in general] I was always frightened by taverns. They just seemed like very unpleasant places to go. And there is nothing nice about Moe's Tavern. It's just a creepy, dark place. And there are never any women in there. Show less «

Cartooning is for people who can't quite draw and can't quite write. You combine the two half-talents and come up with a career. Show less «

The history of television has traditionally been not to do anything that would scandalize Grandma or upset Junior. Our solution on The Simpsons is to do jokes that people who have an education, or some frame of reference, can get. And for the ones who don't, it doesn't matter, because we have Homer banging his head and saying, "D'oh!". Show less «

[when asked "Is there a God?"] If there is, all evidence indicates that He hates me.

I'm a writer who just happens to draw

On the television series [The Simpsons], a joke has to pass muster about 100 times before it gets on the air. On the movie, it's probably 1,000 times. There are jokes that were funny the first 350 times, and then, the 351st time, we go, "Ah, I'm kinda tired of that", so we change it. And what stays in are the most obvious, dumb, visceral, knee jerk, mayhem gags. Any time a character falls down, gets kicked in the face, hit in the head... anything involving head injuries. We work so hard on the wittiest dialog, involving sophisticated references to books and movies, and then what gets a laugh is Homer belching after drinking beer. It keeps you humble. Show less «