I've heard it said I must be gutted to have been brought up in a place like Peckham. Rubbish.

[on his late wife] When we started going out, I said, 'If we moved in together, would you stop working?' And she said, 'Are you crazy? I'd be bored'. I admire stuff like that. I wouldn't have any respect for someone who was going with somebody because he was successful. Show less «

I never once didn't accept responsibility for that drug test. I've always accepted full responsibility - I should have gone to the test, but I genuinely forgot. My excuse was a simple excuse, and people are still picking on it and saying, 'That's bollocks', but I'm sorry, that's the truth, that's what happened. I forgot. Show less «

Footballers are creatures of habit and for as long as I can remember at United, it was a ritual that we had low-fat chips the night before a game. We loved our chips, but [manager David] Moyes comes in and, after his first week, he says we can't have chips anymore. Show less «

[Describing a night out he was invited to by Jamie Redknapp at the age of 17] People were buying the players drink after drink and there were birds crawling all over them. Jamie's a good-looking lad, of course, but I soon learned that if you're a footballer it doesn't matter how pig-ugly you are, you will always get attention from the fittest birds. Crazy, innit? The world we live in is mad because . . . I'll be honest with you, if I saw an ugly bird and she was a celebrity with loads of money, she wouldn't attract me at all. It's true, but some people are different, some people say, 'Yeah, I don't fancy him, but I'll sacrifice his looks if he is bringing all of the other stuff'. I don't understand that mentality. I think you've got issues if you're doing that kind of thing, but a lot of people are. Show less «

I've heard people say it looks as if I don't care and I've certainly read that, but the way I play is natural. I don't think I can change it. I know I'm working as hard as the next man, even if it doesn't always look that way. Show less «

I used to read every, well, most nights. I think reading helps me in terms of relaxing. It helps me to get my mind off the game a little bit more and it helps me to be a little bit more focused. Show less «

Our lives are quite boring. I spend a lot of time watching Coronation Street and Eastenders.

People have an opinion of me from what they read in the papers and the image painted by the media, and I probably haven't helped myself. But my mates and the people close to me know what I'm really like. I'm not trying to paint this picture of a do-goody who never does anything wrong; I've made mistakes and have done things I would change . . . The stuff in Ayia Napa, the drug test - I would like to change that, but these things happen for a reason to help you learn and appreciate where you are in life. One of the hardest things for me about becoming a footballer was accepting that I had to be responsible for my actions, that I have a responsibility to people and to young kids. That's hard to grasp when you're just a kid yourself. For Michael Owen it was easy, his life was . . . I wouldn't say simple, but he was quite a mature 18-year-old and he dealt with the bright lights admirably. I was an outgoing kind of child, willing to see things for myself and to get burnt. And I have been burnt, but there's a lot that I wouldn't change as well because, like I've said, I have seen a lot with my own eyes and learned. Show less «

It doesn't matter whether you're a senior or not, if something needs saying to a colleague it will be said. Show less «

When I'd go out on a date with a girl, I used to know within the first hour whether she was good for me. [The interviewer asks how he knew.] Well, you might ask, 'What do you want to do?' And if she sat there looking pretty and said, 'Ah, I don't know', it was not a good start. I liked it if they were driven or wanted to do something on their own. Show less «

He [Joe Cole] has always been a slippery little git!