Otis B. Driftwood
Otis B. Driftwood : It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause....Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : It's all right, that's in every contract. That's what they call a sanity clause.
[Fiorello laughs loudly]
Fiorello : You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Claus!
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[Fiorello laughs loudly]
Fiorello : You can't fool me! There ain't no Sanity Claus!
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Otis B. Driftwood : I saw Mrs. Claypool first. Of course, her mother really saw her first but there'...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : I saw Mrs. Claypool first. Of course, her mother really saw her first but there's no point in bringing the Civil War into this.
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Otis B. Driftwood : That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
M...Show more »
M...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : That woman? Do you know why I sat with her? Because she reminded me of you.
Mrs. Claypool : Really?
Otis B. Driftwood : Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
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Mrs. Claypool : Really?
Otis B. Driftwood : Of course, that's why I'm sitting here with you. Because you remind me of you. Your eyes, your throat, your lips! Everything about you reminds me of you. Except you. How do you account for that? If she figures that one out, she's good.
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Henderson : You live here all alone?
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practi...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practi...Show more »
Henderson : You live here all alone?
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit.
Henderson : Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four.
Otis B. Driftwood : That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Yes. Just me and my memories. I'm practically a hermit.
Henderson : Oh. A hermit. I notice the table's set for four.
Otis B. Driftwood : That's nothing - my alarm clock is set for eight. That doesn't prove a thing.
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[Driftwood agrees to read the contract to Fiorello]
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, I'll read it...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, I'll read it...Show more »
[Driftwood agrees to read the contract to Fiorello]
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?
Fiorello : I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Fiorello : Well, that's-a why I didn't hear anything.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
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Otis B. Driftwood : All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?
Fiorello : I haven't heard anything yet. Did you say anything?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Fiorello : Well, that's-a why I didn't hear anything.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
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Otis B. Driftwood : And now, on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the s...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : And now, on with the opera. Let joy be unconfined. Let there be dancing in the streets, drinking in the saloons, and necking in the parlor.
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Otis B. Driftwood : You didn't happen to see my suit in there, did you?
Fiorello : Yeah, it was t...Show more »
Fiorello : Yeah, it was t...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : You didn't happen to see my suit in there, did you?
Fiorello : Yeah, it was taking up too much room, so we sold it.
Otis B. Driftwood : Did you get anything for it?
Fiorello : Uh... dollar forty.
Otis B. Driftwood : That's my suit all right.
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Fiorello : Yeah, it was taking up too much room, so we sold it.
Otis B. Driftwood : Did you get anything for it?
Fiorello : Uh... dollar forty.
Otis B. Driftwood : That's my suit all right.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Two beers, bartender!
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Otis B. Driftwood : Two beers, bartender!
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
[Driftwood opens a drawer in his trunk to find Tomasso sleeping]
Otis B. Driftwood : That can't...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : That can't...Show more »
[Driftwood opens a drawer in his trunk to find Tomasso sleeping]
Otis B. Driftwood : That can't be my shirt, my shirt doesn't snore.
Fiorello : Shh! Don't wake him up. He's got insomnia, he's trying to sleep it off.
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Otis B. Driftwood : That can't be my shirt, my shirt doesn't snore.
Fiorello : Shh! Don't wake him up. He's got insomnia, he's trying to sleep it off.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Ladies and gentlemen... I guess that takes in most of you...
Otis B. Driftwood : Ladies and gentlemen... I guess that takes in most of you...
Otis B. Driftwood : Have you got any milk-fed chickens?
Waiter : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood :...Show more »
Waiter : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood :...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Have you got any milk-fed chickens?
Waiter : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, squeeze the milk out of one and bring me a glass.
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Waiter : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, squeeze the milk out of one and bring me a glass.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Do they allow tipping on the boat?
Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood :...Show more »
Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood :...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Do they allow tipping on the boat?
Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Have you got two fives?
Steward : Yes, sir!
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, then you won't need the ten cents I was gonna give you.
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Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Have you got two fives?
Steward : Yes, sir!
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, then you won't need the ten cents I was gonna give you.
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Otis B. Driftwood : You see that spaghetti? Now, behind that spaghetti is none other than Herman Got...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : You see that spaghetti? Now, behind that spaghetti is none other than Herman Gottlieb, director of the New York Opera Company. Do you follow me?
Mrs. Claypool : Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well stop following me or I'll have you arrested!
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Mrs. Claypool : Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well stop following me or I'll have you arrested!
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[Fiorello and Driftwood go over the first clause of their contract]
Otis B. Driftwood : Now pay...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Now pay...Show more »
[Fiorello and Driftwood go over the first clause of their contract]
Otis B. Driftwood : Now pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important. It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello : No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood : What's the matter with it?
Fiorello : I dunno. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood : It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello : That sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello : Er... just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood : What do you mean? The... the party of the first part?
Fiorello : No, the first part of the party of the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood : All right. It says the, uh, "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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Otis B. Driftwood : Now pay particular attention to this first clause because it's most important. It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello : No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood : What's the matter with it?
Fiorello : I dunno. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood : It says the, uh..."The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello : That sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello : Er... just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood : What do you mean? The... the party of the first part?
Fiorello : No, the first part of the party of the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood : All right. It says the, uh, "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
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[the ship is sailing away from the dock]
Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, have I got time to go back an...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, have I got time to go back an...Show more »
[the ship is sailing away from the dock]
Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, have I got time to go back and pay my hotel bill?
Ship Captain : Sorry, too late.
Otis B. Driftwood : That suits me fine.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, have I got time to go back and pay my hotel bill?
Ship Captain : Sorry, too late.
Otis B. Driftwood : That suits me fine.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [to Tomasso, who's knocked out Lassparri] Nice work, I think you got him. Ah, ...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [to Tomasso, who's knocked out Lassparri] Nice work, I think you got him. Ah, smelling salts? That will bring him to. You're sorry for what you did eh? That shows a nice spirit. Now he's coming along. He'll be fine.
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Otis B. Driftwood : And eight pieces of French pasty.
Fiorello : With two hard-boiled eggs.
Ot...Show more »
Fiorello : With two hard-boiled eggs.
Ot...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : And eight pieces of French pasty.
Fiorello : With two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso honks his horn]
Otis B. Driftwood : Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
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Fiorello : With two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso honks his horn]
Otis B. Driftwood : Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
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[Fiorello and Driftwood go over the second clause of their contract]
Otis B. Driftwood : Now, i...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Now, i...Show more »
[Fiorello and Driftwood go over the second clause of their contract]
Otis B. Driftwood : Now, it says, uh, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello : Well, I don't know about that...
Otis B. Driftwood : Now what's the matter?
Fiorello : I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you should have come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around four in the morning. I was blind for three days!
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Otis B. Driftwood : Now, it says, uh, "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello : Well, I don't know about that...
Otis B. Driftwood : Now what's the matter?
Fiorello : I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you should have come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around four in the morning. I was blind for three days!
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Otis B. Driftwood : You're willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing? Why, you ...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : You're willing to pay him a thousand dollars a night just for singing? Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. And for a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.
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[in reference to Tomasso]
Otis B. Driftwood : Wouldn't it be simpler if you just had him stuffe...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Wouldn't it be simpler if you just had him stuffe...Show more »
[in reference to Tomasso]
Otis B. Driftwood : Wouldn't it be simpler if you just had him stuffed?
Fiorello : He's no olive.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Wouldn't it be simpler if you just had him stuffed?
Fiorello : He's no olive.
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Manicurist : Did you want a manicure?
Otis B. Driftwood : No, come on in.
Otis B. Driftwood : No, come on in.
Manicurist : Did you want a manicure?
Otis B. Driftwood : No, come on in.
Otis B. Driftwood : No, come on in.
Fiorello : How do you do?
Otis B. Driftwood : [resting his foot on Lassparri, who's been knocked ...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [resting his foot on Lassparri, who's been knocked ...Show more »
Fiorello : How do you do?
Otis B. Driftwood : [resting his foot on Lassparri, who's been knocked out] Hello.
Fiorello : What's the matter, mister?
Otis B. Driftwood : Oh, we had an argument and he pulled a knife on me, so I shot him.
Fiorello : [raises a foot] Do you mind if I...?
Otis B. Driftwood : No no, go right ahead. Plenty of room.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [resting his foot on Lassparri, who's been knocked out] Hello.
Fiorello : What's the matter, mister?
Otis B. Driftwood : Oh, we had an argument and he pulled a knife on me, so I shot him.
Fiorello : [raises a foot] Do you mind if I...?
Otis B. Driftwood : No no, go right ahead. Plenty of room.
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Engineer's Assistant : I'm the engineer's assistant.
Otis B. Driftwood : You know I had a premoni...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : You know I had a premoni...Show more »
Engineer's Assistant : I'm the engineer's assistant.
Otis B. Driftwood : You know I had a premonition you were going to show up. The engineer's right there in the corner. You can chop your way right through.
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Otis B. Driftwood : You know I had a premonition you were going to show up. The engineer's right there in the corner. You can chop your way right through.
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Otis B. Driftwood : You know the old saying. Two's company, five's a crowd.
Otis B. Driftwood : You know the old saying. Two's company, five's a crowd.
Otis B. Driftwood : Don't you know what duplicates are?
Fiorello : Sure, those five kids up in Ca...Show more »
Fiorello : Sure, those five kids up in Ca...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Don't you know what duplicates are?
Fiorello : Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
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Fiorello : Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
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Mrs. Claypool : I've been sitting right here since seven o'clock.
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, with y...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, with y...Show more »
Mrs. Claypool : I've been sitting right here since seven o'clock.
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, with your back to me. When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, with your back to me. When I invite a woman to dinner I expect her to look at my face. That's the price she has to pay.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [to carriage driver] Hey you. I told you to slow that nag down. On account of ...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [to carriage driver] Hey you. I told you to slow that nag down. On account of you I almost heard the opera.
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Fiorello : What'll I say?
Otis B. Driftwood : Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello : Suppose th...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello : Suppose th...Show more »
Fiorello : What'll I say?
Otis B. Driftwood : Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello : Suppose they don't believe me?
Otis B. Driftwood : They'll believe you when you start talking.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Tell them you're not here.
Fiorello : Suppose they don't believe me?
Otis B. Driftwood : They'll believe you when you start talking.
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Lassparri : Never in my life have I received such treatment. They threw an apple at me.
Otis B. D...Show more »
Otis B. D...Show more »
Lassparri : Never in my life have I received such treatment. They threw an apple at me.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, watermelons are out of season.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Well, watermelons are out of season.
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Mrs. Claypool : Get off that bed. What would people say?
Otis B. Driftwood : They'd probably say ...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : They'd probably say ...Show more »
Mrs. Claypool : Get off that bed. What would people say?
Otis B. Driftwood : They'd probably say you're a very lucky woman.
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Otis B. Driftwood : They'd probably say you're a very lucky woman.
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Mrs. Claypool : If you had any real feeling for me you'd stop associating with the kind of riffraff ...Show more »
Mrs. Claypool : If you had any real feeling for me you'd stop associating with the kind of riffraff I've seen you going around with.
Otis B. Driftwood : You mean Gottlieb?
Mrs. Claypool : I mean those two uncouth men I saw you around the opera house with. I'm very grateful they're not on board the boat.
Otis B. Driftwood : [gets up from his chair, concerned] Why, have they slipped off?
Mrs. Claypool : [pulls him back into his chair] Sit down!
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Otis B. Driftwood : You mean Gottlieb?
Mrs. Claypool : I mean those two uncouth men I saw you around the opera house with. I'm very grateful they're not on board the boat.
Otis B. Driftwood : [gets up from his chair, concerned] Why, have they slipped off?
Mrs. Claypool : [pulls him back into his chair] Sit down!
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Henderson : What's a hermit doing with four beds?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you see those first t...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you see those first t...Show more »
Henderson : What's a hermit doing with four beds?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you see those first three beds?
Henderson : Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood : Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?
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Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you see those first three beds?
Henderson : Yes.
Otis B. Driftwood : Last night, I counted five thousand sheep in those three beds, so I had to have another bed to sleep in. You wouldn't want me to sleep with the sheep, would you?
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Herbert Gottlieb : [to Mrs. Claypool] All of New York will be under your feet!
Otis B. Driftwoo...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwoo...Show more »
Herbert Gottlieb : [to Mrs. Claypool] All of New York will be under your feet!
Otis B. Driftwood : [lifting the tablecloth] Well, there's plenty of room.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [lifting the tablecloth] Well, there's plenty of room.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [talking about "the greatest tenor in the world"] Do you know America is waiti...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [talking about "the greatest tenor in the world"] Do you know America is waiting to hear him sing?
Fiorello : Well, he can sing loud, but he can't sing that loud.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I think I can get America to meet him halfway.
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Fiorello : Well, he can sing loud, but he can't sing that loud.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I think I can get America to meet him halfway.
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Henderson : Say, what's that bed doing there?
Otis B. Driftwood : I don't see it doing anything.<...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : I don't see it doing anything.<...Show more »
Henderson : Say, what's that bed doing there?
Otis B. Driftwood : I don't see it doing anything.
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Otis B. Driftwood : I don't see it doing anything.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Now we're getting somewhere.
Otis B. Driftwood : Now we're getting somewhere.
Mrs. Claypool : Are you sure you have everything, Otis?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't had a...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't had a...Show more »
Mrs. Claypool : Are you sure you have everything, Otis?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't had any complaints yet.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't had any complaints yet.
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Otis B. Driftwood : That's the fire escape. And, uh... that's a table, and this is a room, and there...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : That's the fire escape. And, uh... that's a table, and this is a room, and there's the door leading out, and I wish you'd use it, I... I vant to be alone!
Henderson : You'll be alone when I throw you in jail!
Otis B. Driftwood : Isn't there a song like that, Henderson?
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Henderson : You'll be alone when I throw you in jail!
Otis B. Driftwood : Isn't there a song like that, Henderson?
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Otis B. Driftwood : I am sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight, a...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : I am sure the familiar strains of Verdi's music will come back to you tonight, and Mrs. Claypool's cheques will probably come back to her in the morning.
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[upon seeing a cast member made up to appear hideously ugly]
Otis B. Driftwood : Boogie, boogie...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Boogie, boogie...Show more »
[upon seeing a cast member made up to appear hideously ugly]
Otis B. Driftwood : Boogie, boogie, boogie. How would you like to feel the way she looks?
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Otis B. Driftwood : Boogie, boogie, boogie. How would you like to feel the way she looks?
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[the waiter brings the bill]
Otis B. Driftwood : Let me see that... 9 dollars and 40 cents? Thi...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Let me see that... 9 dollars and 40 cents? Thi...Show more »
[the waiter brings the bill]
Otis B. Driftwood : Let me see that... 9 dollars and 40 cents? This is an outrage.
[to his dinner companion]
Otis B. Driftwood : If I were you I wouldn't pay it.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Let me see that... 9 dollars and 40 cents? This is an outrage.
[to his dinner companion]
Otis B. Driftwood : If I were you I wouldn't pay it.
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Lassparri : [costumed as Pagliacci] Now, what have you got to say to me?
Otis B. Driftwood : Ju...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Ju...Show more »
Lassparri : [costumed as Pagliacci] Now, what have you got to say to me?
Otis B. Driftwood : Just this - can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?
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Otis B. Driftwood : Just this - can you sleep on your stomach with such big buttons on your pajamas?
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Henderson : Hey, who were you talking to?
Otis B. Driftwood : I was talking to myself, and there'...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : I was talking to myself, and there'...Show more »
Henderson : Hey, who were you talking to?
Otis B. Driftwood : I was talking to myself, and there's nothing you can do about it. I've had three of the best doctors in the East.
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Otis B. Driftwood : I was talking to myself, and there's nothing you can do about it. I've had three of the best doctors in the East.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Was that a high C, or Vitamin D?
Otis B. Driftwood : Was that a high C, or Vitamin D?
Henderson : Say! Now, how did those two beds get together?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you know how...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you know how...Show more »
Henderson : Say! Now, how did those two beds get together?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you know how those things are, they breed like rabbits.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you know how those things are, they breed like rabbits.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Signor Lassparri comes from a very famous family. His mother was a well-known ba...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Signor Lassparri comes from a very famous family. His mother was a well-known bass singer. His father was the first man to stuff spaghetti with bicarbonate of soda, thus causing and curing indigestion at the same time.
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Henderson : The last time I was in this room there were four beds here.
Otis B. Driftwood : Pleas...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Pleas...Show more »
Henderson : The last time I was in this room there were four beds here.
Otis B. Driftwood : Please! I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Please! I'm not interested in your private life, Henderson.
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Lassparri : What do you mean by humiliating me in front of all of those people? You're fired! Do you...Show more »
Lassparri : What do you mean by humiliating me in front of all of those people? You're fired! Do you understand? You're fired!
Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, you big bully. What's the idea of hitting that little bully?
Lassparri : Will you kindly let me handle my own affairs? Get out!
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Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, you big bully. What's the idea of hitting that little bully?
Lassparri : Will you kindly let me handle my own affairs? Get out!
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Otis B. Driftwood : Say, I just remembered, I came back here looking for somebody. You don't know wh...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Say, I just remembered, I came back here looking for somebody. You don't know who it is, do you?
Fiorello : It's a funny thing, it just slipped my mind.
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Fiorello : It's a funny thing, it just slipped my mind.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail ye...Show more »
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail ye...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.
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Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Let's go in my room and talk the situation over.
Mrs. Claypool : What situati...Show more »
Mrs. Claypool : What situati...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Let's go in my room and talk the situation over.
Mrs. Claypool : What situation?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, er... what situations have you got?
Mrs. Claypool : I most certainly will not go to your room.
Otis B. Driftwood : OK, then I'll stay here.
Mrs. Claypool : All right, all right, all right! I'll come, but get out.
Otis B. Driftwood : Shall we say, uh, ten minutes?
Mrs. Claypool : Yes, ten minutes, anything. But go!
Otis B. Driftwood : Because if you're not there in ten minutes, I'll be back here in eleven. With squeaky shoes on!
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Mrs. Claypool : What situation?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, er... what situations have you got?
Mrs. Claypool : I most certainly will not go to your room.
Otis B. Driftwood : OK, then I'll stay here.
Mrs. Claypool : All right, all right, all right! I'll come, but get out.
Otis B. Driftwood : Shall we say, uh, ten minutes?
Mrs. Claypool : Yes, ten minutes, anything. But go!
Otis B. Driftwood : Because if you're not there in ten minutes, I'll be back here in eleven. With squeaky shoes on!
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Otis B. Driftwood : [attempting to sell insurance to a ship porter] I have here an accident policy...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [attempting to sell insurance to a ship porter] I have here an accident policy that will absolutely protect you no matter what happens. If you lose a leg, we'll help you look for it.
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Ship Captain : I cannot let the evening pass without paying a little tribute to our distinguished gu...Show more »
Ship Captain : I cannot let the evening pass without paying a little tribute to our distinguished guests of honor - the three greatest aviators in the world.
Otis B. Driftwood : Three greatest aviators, but you notice they're traveling by boat.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Three greatest aviators, but you notice they're traveling by boat.
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Fiorello : [beginning a speech disguised as one of the aviators] Friends.
Otis B. Driftwood : G...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : G...Show more »
Fiorello : [beginning a speech disguised as one of the aviators] Friends.
Otis B. Driftwood : Go fast. I can see a man with a rope out there.
Fiorello : How we happen to come to America is a great story, but I no tell that.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Go fast. I can see a man with a rope out there.
Fiorello : How we happen to come to America is a great story, but I no tell that.
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Henderson : Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here?
Otis B. Driftwood : Now which question...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Now which question...Show more »
Henderson : Am I crazy or are there only two beds in here?
Otis B. Driftwood : Now which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?
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Otis B. Driftwood : Now which question do you want me to answer first, Henderson?
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Otis B. Driftwood : Hello toots.
Mrs. Claypool : Well. What are you doing here? This is Mr. Gottl...Show more »
Mrs. Claypool : Well. What are you doing here? This is Mr. Gottl...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Hello toots.
Mrs. Claypool : Well. What are you doing here? This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.
Otis B. Driftwood : He couldn't come, so he gave me his ticket. He couldn't get dressed, so he gave me his clothes.
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Mrs. Claypool : Well. What are you doing here? This is Mr. Gottlieb's box.
Otis B. Driftwood : He couldn't come, so he gave me his ticket. He couldn't get dressed, so he gave me his clothes.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [at the opera] Well, who's ahead?
Otis B. Driftwood : [at the opera] Well, who's ahead?
Otis B. Driftwood : It's none of my business, but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orch...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : It's none of my business, but I think there's a brace of woodpeckers in the orchestra.
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Manicurist : Did you want your nails long or short?
Otis B. Driftwood : Better make them short. I...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Better make them short. I...Show more »
Manicurist : Did you want your nails long or short?
Otis B. Driftwood : Better make them short. It's getting pretty crowded in here.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Better make them short. It's getting pretty crowded in here.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [in an overcrowded stateroom] It is my imagination, or is it getting crowded i...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [in an overcrowded stateroom] It is my imagination, or is it getting crowded in here?
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[first lines]
Waiter : The gentleman has not arrived yet?
Mrs. Claypool : No, he has not.Show more »
Waiter : The gentleman has not arrived yet?
Mrs. Claypool : No, he has not.
[first lines]
Waiter : The gentleman has not arrived yet?
Mrs. Claypool : No, he has not.
Waiter : I'm afraid the dinner will be spoiled.
Otis B. Driftwood : What difference does it make? It's too late to dine now.
Otis B. Driftwood : Oh, boy?
Bellboy : Yes, ma'am?
Otis B. Driftwood : Will you page Mr. Otis B. Driftwood, please? Mister Otis B. Driftwood.
Bellboy : Paging Mr. Driftwood! Mr. Driftwood!
Bellboy : [Driftwood's dinner companion giggles out loud] Mr. Driftwood! Mr. Driftwood!
Otis B. Driftwood : Boy, would you do me a favor and stop yelling my name all over this restaurant? Do I go around yelling your name?
Mrs. Claypool : Mr. Driftwood!
Otis B. Driftwood : [Driftwood gets up and looks about the dining room] Say, is your voice changing, or is somebody else paging me around here?
Mrs. Claypool : Mr. Driftwood!
Otis B. Driftwood : Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello!
Mrs. Claypool : Mr. Driftwood, you invited me to dine with you at 7:00; it is now 8:00 and no dinner.
Otis B. Driftwood : What do you mean, no dinner? I just had one of the biggest meals I ever had in my life,and no thanks to you, either.
Mrs. Claypool : I've been sitting right here since 7:00.
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, with your back to me. When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay.
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Waiter : The gentleman has not arrived yet?
Mrs. Claypool : No, he has not.
Waiter : I'm afraid the dinner will be spoiled.
Otis B. Driftwood : What difference does it make? It's too late to dine now.
Otis B. Driftwood : Oh, boy?
Bellboy : Yes, ma'am?
Otis B. Driftwood : Will you page Mr. Otis B. Driftwood, please? Mister Otis B. Driftwood.
Bellboy : Paging Mr. Driftwood! Mr. Driftwood!
Bellboy : [Driftwood's dinner companion giggles out loud] Mr. Driftwood! Mr. Driftwood!
Otis B. Driftwood : Boy, would you do me a favor and stop yelling my name all over this restaurant? Do I go around yelling your name?
Mrs. Claypool : Mr. Driftwood!
Otis B. Driftwood : [Driftwood gets up and looks about the dining room] Say, is your voice changing, or is somebody else paging me around here?
Mrs. Claypool : Mr. Driftwood!
Otis B. Driftwood : Why, Mrs. Claypool, hello!
Mrs. Claypool : Mr. Driftwood, you invited me to dine with you at 7:00; it is now 8:00 and no dinner.
Otis B. Driftwood : What do you mean, no dinner? I just had one of the biggest meals I ever had in my life,and no thanks to you, either.
Mrs. Claypool : I've been sitting right here since 7:00.
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, with your back to me. When I invite a woman to dinner, I expect her to look at my face; that's the price she has to pay.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Now, uh, here are the contracts. You just put his name at the top and, uh, you s...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Now, uh, here are the contracts. You just put his name at the top and, uh, you sign his name at the bottom.
Otis B. Driftwood : [Fiorello starts to read his copy of the contract] There's no need of you reading that, because these are duplicates.
Fiorello : [chuckles] Yeah, duplicates. Duplicates, eh?
Otis B. Driftwood : I say, they're duplicates.
Fiorello : Oh sure, is a duplicate.
Otis B. Driftwood : Don't you know what duplicates are?
Fiorello : [Referring to the Dionne quintuplets] Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I wouldn't know about that; I haven't been in Canada in years. Well, go ahead and read it.
Fiorello : What does it say?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, go on and read it.
Fiorello : All right, you read it to me.
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?
Fiorello : I haven't heard anything yet. You say anything?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Fiorello : Well, that's why I didn't hear anything.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [Fiorello starts to read his copy of the contract] There's no need of you reading that, because these are duplicates.
Fiorello : [chuckles] Yeah, duplicates. Duplicates, eh?
Otis B. Driftwood : I say, they're duplicates.
Fiorello : Oh sure, is a duplicate.
Otis B. Driftwood : Don't you know what duplicates are?
Fiorello : [Referring to the Dionne quintuplets] Sure, those five kids up in Canada.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I wouldn't know about that; I haven't been in Canada in years. Well, go ahead and read it.
Fiorello : What does it say?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, go on and read it.
Fiorello : All right, you read it to me.
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, I'll read it to you. Can you hear?
Fiorello : I haven't heard anything yet. You say anything?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I haven't said anything worth hearing.
Fiorello : Well, that's why I didn't hear anything.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's why I didn't say anything.
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Fiorello : Can you read?
Otis B. Driftwood : [holds the contract close to his face] I can read,...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : [holds the contract close to his face] I can read,...Show more »
Fiorello : Can you read?
Otis B. Driftwood : [holds the contract close to his face] I can read, but I can't see it.
Otis B. Driftwood : [holds the contract further away from his face] Don't seem to have it in focus here... If my arms were a little longer, I could read it. You haven't got a baboon in your pocket, have you? Here, here, here we are, now I've got it. Now pay particular attention to this first clause, because it's most important. It says:"The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello : No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood : What's the matter with it?
Fiorello : I don't know. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood : It says "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello : Well, it sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello : Well, just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood : What do you mean, "The party of the first part"?
Fiorello : No: the first part of "the party of the first part".
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, it says: "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Fiorello : [chuckles as Driftwood and Fiorello tear off part of the contract] Yeah, it's-a too long, anyhow. Now what do we got left?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I've got about a foot-and-a-half. Now it says here: "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello : Well, I don't know about that.
Otis B. Driftwood : Now what's the matter?
Fiorello : I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you should have come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around 4:00 in the morning. I was blind for three days.
Fiorello : Hey look: Why can't the first part of the second party be the second part of the first party? Then you got something.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, look, uh... rather than go through all that again, what do you say?
Fiorello : Fine.
[Driftwood and Fiorello each tear out another section of the contract]
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Otis B. Driftwood : [holds the contract close to his face] I can read, but I can't see it.
Otis B. Driftwood : [holds the contract further away from his face] Don't seem to have it in focus here... If my arms were a little longer, I could read it. You haven't got a baboon in your pocket, have you? Here, here, here we are, now I've got it. Now pay particular attention to this first clause, because it's most important. It says:"The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part." How do you like that? That's pretty neat, eh?
Fiorello : No, that's no good.
Otis B. Driftwood : What's the matter with it?
Fiorello : I don't know. Let's hear it again.
Otis B. Driftwood : It says "The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part."
Fiorello : Well, it sounds a little better this time.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, it grows on you. Would you like to hear it once more?
Fiorello : Well, just the first part.
Otis B. Driftwood : What do you mean, "The party of the first part"?
Fiorello : No: the first part of "the party of the first part".
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, it says: "The first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the first part of the party of the first part shall be known in this contract..." Look, why should we quarrel about a thing like this? We'll take it right out, eh?
Fiorello : [chuckles as Driftwood and Fiorello tear off part of the contract] Yeah, it's-a too long, anyhow. Now what do we got left?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I've got about a foot-and-a-half. Now it says here: "The party of the second part shall be known in this contract as the party of the second part."
Fiorello : Well, I don't know about that.
Otis B. Driftwood : Now what's the matter?
Fiorello : I no like-a the second party, either.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, you should have come to the first party. We didn't get home 'til around 4:00 in the morning. I was blind for three days.
Fiorello : Hey look: Why can't the first part of the second party be the second part of the first party? Then you got something.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, look, uh... rather than go through all that again, what do you say?
Fiorello : Fine.
[Driftwood and Fiorello each tear out another section of the contract]
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Otis B. Driftwood : Two beers, bartender!
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Otis B. Driftwo...Show more »
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Otis B. Driftwo...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Two beers, bartender!
Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, things seem to be getting better around the country.
Fiorello : I don't know, I'm a stranger here myself.
Otis B. Driftwood : Say, uh, I just remembered: I came back here looking for somebody. You don't know who it is, do you?
Fiorello : Is a funny thing, it just slipped my mind.
Otis B. Driftwood : Oh, I know, I know: the greatest tenor in the world, that's what I'm after.
Fiorello : Why, I'm his manager.
Otis B. Driftwood : Whose manager?
Fiorello : The greatest tenor in the world.
Otis B. Driftwood : The fellow that sings at the opera here?
Fiorello : Sure.
Otis B. Driftwood : What's his name?
Fiorello : What do you care? I can't pronounce it. What do you want with him?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, uh, I want to sign him up for the New York Opera Company. You know that America is waiting to hear him sing?
Fiorello : Well, he can sing loud, but he can't sing that loud.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I think I can get America to meet him halfway. Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.
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Fiorello : I'll take two beers, too.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, things seem to be getting better around the country.
Fiorello : I don't know, I'm a stranger here myself.
Otis B. Driftwood : Say, uh, I just remembered: I came back here looking for somebody. You don't know who it is, do you?
Fiorello : Is a funny thing, it just slipped my mind.
Otis B. Driftwood : Oh, I know, I know: the greatest tenor in the world, that's what I'm after.
Fiorello : Why, I'm his manager.
Otis B. Driftwood : Whose manager?
Fiorello : The greatest tenor in the world.
Otis B. Driftwood : The fellow that sings at the opera here?
Fiorello : Sure.
Otis B. Driftwood : What's his name?
Fiorello : What do you care? I can't pronounce it. What do you want with him?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, uh, I want to sign him up for the New York Opera Company. You know that America is waiting to hear him sing?
Fiorello : Well, he can sing loud, but he can't sing that loud.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I think I can get America to meet him halfway. Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail ye...Show more »
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail ye...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Could he sail tomorrow?
Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday. How much you pay him?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well I don't know.
Otis B. Driftwood : [to himself] Let's see, uh... $1,000 a night... I'm entitled to a small profit...
Otis B. Driftwood : How about $10 a night?
Fiorello : Ten? Ten dollars?
[Fiorello laughs]
Fiorello : I'll take it!
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, but remember, I get 10 percent for negotiating the deal.
Fiorello : Yes, and I get 10 percent for being the manager. How much does that leave?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that leaves him, uh... $8.00.
Fiorello : $8.00, eh? Well, he sends $5.00 home to his mother...
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that leaves $3.00.
Fiorello : Can he live in New York on $3.00?
Otis B. Driftwood : Like a prince. Of course, he won't be able to eat, but he can live like a prince. However, out of that $3.00, you know, he'll have to pay an income tax.
Fiorello : Oh. income tax.
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, you know, there's a federal tax and a state tax and a city tax... and a street tax and a sewer tax
Fiorello : How much does this come to?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I figure if that he doesn't sing too often, he can break even.
Fiorello : All right, we take it.
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, fine.
[Driftwood and Fiorello shake hands]
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Fiorello : You pay him enough money, he could sail yesterday. How much you pay him?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well I don't know.
Otis B. Driftwood : [to himself] Let's see, uh... $1,000 a night... I'm entitled to a small profit...
Otis B. Driftwood : How about $10 a night?
Fiorello : Ten? Ten dollars?
[Fiorello laughs]
Fiorello : I'll take it!
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, but remember, I get 10 percent for negotiating the deal.
Fiorello : Yes, and I get 10 percent for being the manager. How much does that leave?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that leaves him, uh... $8.00.
Fiorello : $8.00, eh? Well, he sends $5.00 home to his mother...
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that leaves $3.00.
Fiorello : Can he live in New York on $3.00?
Otis B. Driftwood : Like a prince. Of course, he won't be able to eat, but he can live like a prince. However, out of that $3.00, you know, he'll have to pay an income tax.
Fiorello : Oh. income tax.
Otis B. Driftwood : Yes, you know, there's a federal tax and a state tax and a city tax... and a street tax and a sewer tax
Fiorello : How much does this come to?
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I figure if that he doesn't sing too often, he can break even.
Fiorello : All right, we take it.
Otis B. Driftwood : All right, fine.
[Driftwood and Fiorello shake hands]
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Ship Captain : Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to...
Otis B. Driftwood : Quiet. Gentlemen, ...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Quiet. Gentlemen, ...Show more »
Ship Captain : Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to...
Otis B. Driftwood : Quiet. Gentlemen, our distinguished guests have asked me to represent them in the lack of an interpreter. Now if you'll all follow me, I'll take you to their cabin; and if they're still in it, very few of us will come out alive.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Quiet. Gentlemen, our distinguished guests have asked me to represent them in the lack of an interpreter. Now if you'll all follow me, I'll take you to their cabin; and if they're still in it, very few of us will come out alive.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Steward, steward! Stew!
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : I s...Show more »
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : I s...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Steward, steward! Stew!
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : I say, stew.
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : What have we got for dinner?
Ship's Steward : Anything you like, sir. You might have some tomato juice, orange juice, grape juice, pineapple juice...
Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, turn off the juice before I get electrocuted. Now let me have one of each... and uh, two fried eggs, two poached eggs, two scrambled eggs, and two medium-boiled eggs.
Fiorello : [from inside the cabin room] And two hard-boiled eggs!
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso honks his horn]
Otis B. Driftwood : Make that three hard-boiled eggs. And, uh, some roast beef, rare, medium, well done, and overdone.
Fiorello : [from the room] And two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : [Tomasso honks his horn again] Make that three hard-boiled eggs... and, uh, eight pieces of French pastry.
Fiorello : With two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso honks his horn again]
Otis B. Driftwood : Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso makes a short honk on his horn]
Otis B. Driftwood : And one duck egg. Uh, have you got any stewed prunes?
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, give them some black coffee, that'll sober them up.
Fiorello : And two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso repeatedly honks his horn, imitating the Morse code]
Otis B. Driftwood : It's either foggy out, or make that twelve more hard-boiled eggs. And steward, rush that along, because the faster it comes, the faster this convention will be over.
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Do they allow tipping on the boat?
Ship's Steward : Oh, yes sir!
Otis B. Driftwood : Have you got two fives?
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.
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Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : I say, stew.
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : What have we got for dinner?
Ship's Steward : Anything you like, sir. You might have some tomato juice, orange juice, grape juice, pineapple juice...
Otis B. Driftwood : Hey, turn off the juice before I get electrocuted. Now let me have one of each... and uh, two fried eggs, two poached eggs, two scrambled eggs, and two medium-boiled eggs.
Fiorello : [from inside the cabin room] And two hard-boiled eggs!
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso honks his horn]
Otis B. Driftwood : Make that three hard-boiled eggs. And, uh, some roast beef, rare, medium, well done, and overdone.
Fiorello : [from the room] And two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : [Tomasso honks his horn again] Make that three hard-boiled eggs... and, uh, eight pieces of French pastry.
Fiorello : With two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso honks his horn again]
Otis B. Driftwood : Make that three hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso makes a short honk on his horn]
Otis B. Driftwood : And one duck egg. Uh, have you got any stewed prunes?
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, give them some black coffee, that'll sober them up.
Fiorello : And two hard-boiled eggs.
Otis B. Driftwood : And two hard-boiled eggs.
[Tomasso repeatedly honks his horn, imitating the Morse code]
Otis B. Driftwood : It's either foggy out, or make that twelve more hard-boiled eggs. And steward, rush that along, because the faster it comes, the faster this convention will be over.
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Do they allow tipping on the boat?
Ship's Steward : Oh, yes sir!
Otis B. Driftwood : Have you got two fives?
Ship's Steward : Yes, sir.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, then you won't need the ten cents I was going to give you.
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Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's fine. If that steward's deaf and dumb, he'll never know you're in h...Show more »
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's fine. If that steward's deaf and dumb, he'll never know you're in here.
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Fiorello : Wait a minute. Before he sings, you gotta sign a contract. And I get 10 percent.
Otis ...Show more »
Otis ...Show more »
Fiorello : Wait a minute. Before he sings, you gotta sign a contract. And I get 10 percent.
Otis B. Driftwood : And I get 10 percent too.
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Otis B. Driftwood : And I get 10 percent too.
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Fiorello : I give this to Riccardo.
Herbert Gottlieb : [talking offstage with Mrs. Claypool ] ....Show more »
Herbert Gottlieb : [talking offstage with Mrs. Claypool ] ....Show more »
Fiorello : I give this to Riccardo.
Herbert Gottlieb : [talking offstage with Mrs. Claypool ] ... sensation in New York.
[meets Fiorello]
Herbert Gottlieb : Pardon me, could you tell me where Signor Lassparri is?
Fiorello : Sure, there's Lassparri,
Herbert Gottlieb : Lassparri!
Otis B. Driftwood : Lassparri? Then whom did I sign?
Fiorello : You signed Riccardo Baroni, that's-a my man.
Herbert Gottlieb : [Gottlieb wakes up Lassparri, who is unconscious] Signor Lassparri, what happened? Speak to me, it's me, it's Gottlieb! Speak to me, it's me, it's Gottlieb!
Herbert Gottlieb : [Tomasso unties a sandbag, which drops on Lassparri's head and knocks him unconscious] Oh, what is this now?
Otis B. Driftwood : How early the fruit is falling this season.
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Herbert Gottlieb : [talking offstage with Mrs. Claypool ] ... sensation in New York.
[meets Fiorello]
Herbert Gottlieb : Pardon me, could you tell me where Signor Lassparri is?
Fiorello : Sure, there's Lassparri,
Herbert Gottlieb : Lassparri!
Otis B. Driftwood : Lassparri? Then whom did I sign?
Fiorello : You signed Riccardo Baroni, that's-a my man.
Herbert Gottlieb : [Gottlieb wakes up Lassparri, who is unconscious] Signor Lassparri, what happened? Speak to me, it's me, it's Gottlieb! Speak to me, it's me, it's Gottlieb!
Herbert Gottlieb : [Tomasso unties a sandbag, which drops on Lassparri's head and knocks him unconscious] Oh, what is this now?
Otis B. Driftwood : How early the fruit is falling this season.
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Fiorello : [Driftwood, Fiorello, Tomasso and Ricardo are sitting on a park bench; Fiorello pushes Dr...Show more »
Fiorello : [Driftwood, Fiorello, Tomasso and Ricardo are sitting on a park bench; Fiorello pushes Driftwood off the bench] Now there's room.
Otis B. Driftwood : [sarcastically] Well, that's all I needed. I certainly am glad I met you boys. First, you get me kicked out of my job, then you get me thrown out of my hotel, and finally you push me off a park bench. Well, there's one consolation: nothing more can happen to me.
Policeman : Hey, get off the grass.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I was wrong.
Otis B. Driftwood : [Driftwood tries to drink from a water fountain, only to have the water shrink away at low pressure] People drink too much water, anyhow. I'm certainly glad you came along. The day you boys came into my life, I had a good job and was about to marry a rich widow. Now I can't even sit on the grass.
Fiorello : I'd give you my seat, but I'm sitting here.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's an offer. I tell you, I'd like to think it over for a couple of days. Where can I find you?
Fiorello : Don't worry. Wherever you are, you'll find us.
Fiorello : I'm sick of that; let's meet somewhere else.
Ricardo : [Tomasso whistles when Rosa appears] It's Rosa!
Fiorello : Rosa!
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, at least I can get my bench back.
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Otis B. Driftwood : [sarcastically] Well, that's all I needed. I certainly am glad I met you boys. First, you get me kicked out of my job, then you get me thrown out of my hotel, and finally you push me off a park bench. Well, there's one consolation: nothing more can happen to me.
Policeman : Hey, get off the grass.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, I was wrong.
Otis B. Driftwood : [Driftwood tries to drink from a water fountain, only to have the water shrink away at low pressure] People drink too much water, anyhow. I'm certainly glad you came along. The day you boys came into my life, I had a good job and was about to marry a rich widow. Now I can't even sit on the grass.
Fiorello : I'd give you my seat, but I'm sitting here.
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, that's an offer. I tell you, I'd like to think it over for a couple of days. Where can I find you?
Fiorello : Don't worry. Wherever you are, you'll find us.
Fiorello : I'm sick of that; let's meet somewhere else.
Ricardo : [Tomasso whistles when Rosa appears] It's Rosa!
Fiorello : Rosa!
Otis B. Driftwood : Well, at least I can get my bench back.
Show less «
HD
Annabelle: Creation
IMDb: 7
2017
109 min
Country: United States
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Mystery
Twelve years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into ...
