Captain : I'm going to be blunt, and make some very cutting remarks.
Marjoribanks : To be sure, sir, that's a contradiction in terms, but then English is a very curious language!
Captain : If you interrupt me once more, Mr....?
Marjoribanks : Marjoribanks, sir.
Captain : You interrupt me once more, mate, and you'll hear some really curious language!
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Captain : Paperwork: not my favourite occupation.
Marjoribanks : Nor mine.
Captain : It's going to be from now on.
Marjoribanks : Charming.
Captain : Health Report, Dock Report, Crew Report, Food Report, Log Report, Sports Report, Diesel Oil and Fuel Report.
Marjoribanks : [singing:]  And a partridge in a pear tree!
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Captain : Flo! Ebb a bit.

Marjoribanks : I always find the first few days make me feel quite drowsy.
Captain : Shut your port-hole.
Marjoribanks : Begging your pardon, sir, one must have fresh...
Captain : ...and your cake-hole.
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[Captain Crowther enters his cabin, and finds Tom Tree putting clothes in the drawers] 
Captain : Don't tell me. You're my new steward. Lovall has broken his leg. You've only done three trips, all from Tower Bridge to Margate.
Tom Tree : That's right, sir. How can you tell?
Captain : I'm psychic!
[Glances at his list] 
Captain : Tom Tree.
Tom Tree : That's right, sir. Branches everywhere!
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Captain : [Walking into bar]  Who are you?
Sam Turner, Barman : Me, sir? Turner, sir.
Captain : Turner?
Sam Turner, Barman : Turner, sir.
Captain : What are you doin' 'ere?
Sam Turner, Barman : Head barman, sir.
Captain : You can't be head barman. Angus is my head barman.
Sam Turner, Barman : [Smiling]  Not anymore, sir.
Captain : Not any more? They can't do this to me! Changing a barman? It's like ripping out the engine!
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