Grace Adler, Grace, Herself
Jack : We'll rent a movie. You're into gay porn, right?
Grace : Who isn't?
Grace : Who isn't?
Jack : We'll rent a movie. You're into gay porn, right?
Grace : Who isn't?
Grace : Who isn't?
[while watching basketball on TV]
Grace : Have you seen Matt yet?
Will : Yeah, he's right th...Show more »
Grace : Have you seen Matt yet?
Will : Yeah, he's right th...Show more »
[while watching basketball on TV]
Grace : Have you seen Matt yet?
Will : Yeah, he's right there, right on the sidelines. Just four clicks left of Spike Lee. Just right beside that little girl and her grandpa.
Jack : Uh, that's Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.
Show less «
Grace : Have you seen Matt yet?
Will : Yeah, he's right there, right on the sidelines. Just four clicks left of Spike Lee. Just right beside that little girl and her grandpa.
Jack : Uh, that's Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas.
Show less «
[Grace and Jack have been seeing Vince at a grocery store with another man, Dennis, and think he's c...Show more »
[Grace and Jack have been seeing Vince at a grocery store with another man, Dennis, and think he's cheating on Will; they don't know that he was fired and now works there, and that Dennis is his boss]
Jack : [to Vince] We know what's goin' on.
Grace : Yeah, we know your filthy secret.
Dennis : Vince, I want your ass in aisle five.
[Grace gasps]
Dennis : And bring the mop.
[Jack gasps]
Jack : Oh, my God. What kind of a place is this? And why do I shop anywhere else?
Show less «
Jack : [to Vince] We know what's goin' on.
Grace : Yeah, we know your filthy secret.
Dennis : Vince, I want your ass in aisle five.
[Grace gasps]
Dennis : And bring the mop.
[Jack gasps]
Jack : Oh, my God. What kind of a place is this? And why do I shop anywhere else?
Show less «
Jack : You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
Grace :...Show more »
Grace :...Show more »
Jack : You're so generous. I swear, if you weren't Jewish, you'd definitely go to heaven.
Grace : Thanks, Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there too.
Show less «
Grace : Thanks, Jack. And if you weren't gay, you'd go there too.
Show less «
Jack : I fooled around with Josh.
Grace : What?
Jack : Remember when I told you that there was...Show more »
Grace : What?
Jack : Remember when I told you that there was...Show more »
Jack : I fooled around with Josh.
Grace : What?
Jack : Remember when I told you that there was something about Josh that I couldn't put my finger on? Well, I put my finger in it.
Will : There was a saying on the island. Mana Na Kalaka. Kana Makalui.
Grace : What does that mean?
Will : I don't know. I just can't believe you ended up with another gay guy.
Show less «
Grace : What?
Jack : Remember when I told you that there was something about Josh that I couldn't put my finger on? Well, I put my finger in it.
Will : There was a saying on the island. Mana Na Kalaka. Kana Makalui.
Grace : What does that mean?
Will : I don't know. I just can't believe you ended up with another gay guy.
Show less «
Grace : What you're feeling are pangs of guilt.
Karen : What?
Grace : Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok. How ...Show more »
Karen : What?
Grace : Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok. How ...Show more »
Grace : What you're feeling are pangs of guilt.
Karen : What?
Grace : Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok. How am I gonna explain this one? Uh... guilt is an emotion that - Ok. Jumping ahead. An emotion is something that...
Karen : Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything... You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."
Show less «
Karen : What?
Grace : Guilt. Oh, boy. Ok. How am I gonna explain this one? Uh... guilt is an emotion that - Ok. Jumping ahead. An emotion is something that...
Karen : Hey, hey, hey. Come on. I know what guilt is. It's one of those touchy-feely words that people throw around that don't really mean anything... You know, like "maternal" or "addiction."
Show less «
[Jack is angry with Karen]
Karen : Hi, poodle.
Jack : Mm. How are you?
[to Grace]
Jack : Hi, Grace. Who's your daddy?
Grace : [confused] His name is Martin Adler.
Show less «
Karen : Hi, poodle.
Jack : Mm. How are you?
[to Grace]
Jack : Hi, Grace. Who's your daddy?
Grace : [confused] His name is Martin Adler.
Show less «
Grace : Pam, did you fax over the drawings to the cabinaker yet?
Pam : Right after my smoke break...Show more »
Pam : Right after my smoke break...Show more »
Grace : Pam, did you fax over the drawings to the cabinaker yet?
Pam : Right after my smoke break.
Grace : I already told you, there is no smoking here.
Pam : It is part of my religion.
Karen : Smoking in the office... how inappropriate! Hey does anyone mind if I take my boob out for a second?
Grace : It's one thing at dinner Karen but work is where I draw the line.
Show less «
Pam : Right after my smoke break.
Grace : I already told you, there is no smoking here.
Pam : It is part of my religion.
Karen : Smoking in the office... how inappropriate! Hey does anyone mind if I take my boob out for a second?
Grace : It's one thing at dinner Karen but work is where I draw the line.
Show less «
Grace : Will, my love for you is like this scar, (points at elbow) ugly, but permanent.
Grace : Will, my love for you is like this scar, (points at elbow) ugly, but permanent.
Grace : [sobbing] I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. And all the people are pigs. And I'm the p...Show more »
Grace : [sobbing] I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone. And all the people are pigs. And I'm the pretty one, but everyone thinks I'm ugly because they're all pigs and they think pigs are pretty.
Show less «
Show less «
Grace : Gay sex is *so* hot.
Grace : Gay sex is *so* hot.
[Lyle walks in]
Lyle Finster : There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire.
[Karen roll...Show more »
Lyle Finster : There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire.
[Karen roll...Show more »
[Lyle walks in]
Lyle Finster : There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire.
[Karen rolls her eyes]
Lyle Finster : Which is a nice change, since the women I'm usually with cause a burning feeling in an altogether different area.
Karen : Get lost, David Cop-a-feel. Just because we once made out like drunk straight girls at a frat party, doesn't mean you're wanted here.
Grace : [to Lyle] Hi. Welcome to my office. And we usually reserve this kind of talk for casual sex Friday.
Lyle Finster : Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Lyle Finster.
Grace : Finster? Oh my God. You're Lorraine's father. You tricked Karen into kissing you.
Karen : That's right. And it ain't never gonna happen again. No, sir. Not on my watch.
Lyle Finster : I understand. But I only came here to return the kiss that you left on my lips.
Karen : What? Give it back!
[Karen jumps on Lyle and they start making out and growling]
Grace : If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go in the back and gouge out my eyes and puncture my eardrums.
Karen : Oh, no, honey, stay. I was just taking back my -
[realizes]
Karen : Hey!
Lyle Finster : Karen, I'm lost without you. I've tried to fill the void with secretaries and whores, but at the end of the hour, it's you I wish I was paying.
Grace : Really, I'm uncomfortable.
Karen : It's never gonna happen between us, Lyle. So beat it.
Lyle Finster : Very well. But I'll never forget you. Every mouth that I kiss will be your mouth. Every bottom that I slap will be your bottom. Every nipple that I tweak...
Grace : Please, one of us has to go!
Karen : Get out.
Lyle Finster : Very well. But know this: Every vagina...
Grace : GET OUT!
Show less «
Lyle Finster : There she is, the woman who set my heart on fire.
[Karen rolls her eyes]
Lyle Finster : Which is a nice change, since the women I'm usually with cause a burning feeling in an altogether different area.
Karen : Get lost, David Cop-a-feel. Just because we once made out like drunk straight girls at a frat party, doesn't mean you're wanted here.
Grace : [to Lyle] Hi. Welcome to my office. And we usually reserve this kind of talk for casual sex Friday.
Lyle Finster : Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Lyle Finster.
Grace : Finster? Oh my God. You're Lorraine's father. You tricked Karen into kissing you.
Karen : That's right. And it ain't never gonna happen again. No, sir. Not on my watch.
Lyle Finster : I understand. But I only came here to return the kiss that you left on my lips.
Karen : What? Give it back!
[Karen jumps on Lyle and they start making out and growling]
Grace : If you'll excuse me, I'm just gonna go in the back and gouge out my eyes and puncture my eardrums.
Karen : Oh, no, honey, stay. I was just taking back my -
[realizes]
Karen : Hey!
Lyle Finster : Karen, I'm lost without you. I've tried to fill the void with secretaries and whores, but at the end of the hour, it's you I wish I was paying.
Grace : Really, I'm uncomfortable.
Karen : It's never gonna happen between us, Lyle. So beat it.
Lyle Finster : Very well. But I'll never forget you. Every mouth that I kiss will be your mouth. Every bottom that I slap will be your bottom. Every nipple that I tweak...
Grace : Please, one of us has to go!
Karen : Get out.
Lyle Finster : Very well. But know this: Every vagina...
Grace : GET OUT!
Show less «
[Ellen asked Grace to baby-sit her kids but is now upset because she assumed Will would be there as ...Show more »
[Ellen asked Grace to baby-sit her kids but is now upset because she assumed Will would be there as well and he is out of town and she no longer wants Grace to do it]
Ellen : You know what I just realized? Rob's sister can probably do it. She lives closer to us anyway.
Grace : Judy? The one who has to turn the lights on 14 times or the oceans will dry up?
Karen : Ellen, why would you leave your kids with someone who has such an important job?
Show less «
Ellen : You know what I just realized? Rob's sister can probably do it. She lives closer to us anyway.
Grace : Judy? The one who has to turn the lights on 14 times or the oceans will dry up?
Karen : Ellen, why would you leave your kids with someone who has such an important job?
Show less «
[Karen is offended because Grace said that she, Karen, could not be trusted as a babysitter]
Gr...Show more »
Gr...Show more »
[Karen is offended because Grace said that she, Karen, could not be trusted as a babysitter]
Grace : Look, Karen, I'm sorry, but taking care of children is a huge responsibility. It's more "Tickle Me, Elmo" and less... "Let's fill Elmo up with drugs and smuggle him across the border."
Show less «
Grace : Look, Karen, I'm sorry, but taking care of children is a huge responsibility. It's more "Tickle Me, Elmo" and less... "Let's fill Elmo up with drugs and smuggle him across the border."
Show less «
Karen : [sympathetically] Oh, Grace...
Grace : What?
Karen : Nothing, I just thought it need...Show more »
Grace : What?
Karen : Nothing, I just thought it need...Show more »
Karen : [sympathetically] Oh, Grace...
Grace : What?
Karen : Nothing, I just thought it needed an "Oh, Grace".
Show less «
Grace : What?
Karen : Nothing, I just thought it needed an "Oh, Grace".
Show less «
Grace : [right after Will came out] That's not a compliment! A compliment is "You're sexy. You tur...Show more »
Grace : [right after Will came out] That's not a compliment! A compliment is "You're sexy. You turn me on"! not Not "One look at you and I know I'm queer"!
Show less «
Show less «
Grace : [to Ellen after Will tells her he's gay] How could I not have known? He was Boy George for...Show more »
Grace : [to Ellen after Will tells her he's gay] How could I not have known? He was Boy George for Halloween, he has a diffuser on his hairdryer, and he's prettier than me.
Show less «
Show less «
Grace : Tonight I'm gonna be better. I know it. Look, I've been playing with myself and I feel much ...Show more »
Grace : Tonight I'm gonna be better. I know it. Look, I've been playing with myself and I feel much more confident.
Will : Funny, it just makes me feel sleepy.
Show less «
Will : Funny, it just makes me feel sleepy.
Show less «
Grace : The only reason you were offered a job, is so that he can slither out of the lawsuit.
Wil...Show more »
Wil...Show more »
Grace : The only reason you were offered a job, is so that he can slither out of the lawsuit.
Will : Of course. That ruthless bastard offered me a 5-year contract, paid vacation, a huge signing bonus, all to make a dispute over slipcovers go away. How could I have been so blind.
Grace : Why do your people always go to sarcasm first?
Show less «
Will : Of course. That ruthless bastard offered me a 5-year contract, paid vacation, a huge signing bonus, all to make a dispute over slipcovers go away. How could I have been so blind.
Grace : Why do your people always go to sarcasm first?
Show less «
[Will is walking Grace down the aisle]
Will : This may be the wrong time to tell you this, but ...Show more »
Will : This may be the wrong time to tell you this, but ...Show more »
[Will is walking Grace down the aisle]
Will : This may be the wrong time to tell you this, but I'm straight.
Grace : Don't make me laugh, I'm being photographed.
Show less «
Will : This may be the wrong time to tell you this, but I'm straight.
Grace : Don't make me laugh, I'm being photographed.
Show less «
Grace : [to Jack] Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of l...Show more »
Grace : [to Jack] Today I'm handing out lollipops and ass-whoopins and right now, I'm all out of lollipops.
Show less «
Show less «
[Elliot is on a soccer team]
Jack : [dragging Elliot into Will's apartment] Will someone talk...Show more »
Jack : [dragging Elliot into Will's apartment] Will someone talk...Show more »
[Elliot is on a soccer team]
Jack : [dragging Elliot into Will's apartment] Will someone talk to this kid? He's thinkin' about quitting the team.
Elliot : Yeah, because I'm awful. They even have a new nickname for me on the team. "Awful."
Jack : I give up. I throw up my hands and jut out my hip.
[he does]
Grace : [to Elliot] You know what, when I was your age, there were a lot of kids who said I couldn't kiss. But did I quit kissing? I did not. I stuck with it. I made out with every guy who would have me. And today...
[waves her hand around, showing off her wedding ring]
Jack : Not you, Whore-a Flynn Boyle!
Show less «
Jack : [dragging Elliot into Will's apartment] Will someone talk to this kid? He's thinkin' about quitting the team.
Elliot : Yeah, because I'm awful. They even have a new nickname for me on the team. "Awful."
Jack : I give up. I throw up my hands and jut out my hip.
[he does]
Grace : [to Elliot] You know what, when I was your age, there were a lot of kids who said I couldn't kiss. But did I quit kissing? I did not. I stuck with it. I made out with every guy who would have me. And today...
[waves her hand around, showing off her wedding ring]
Jack : Not you, Whore-a Flynn Boyle!
Show less «
Jack : Biggly, biggly, biggly, biggly, biggly, biggly, bog.
Mipanko : I win.
Jack : Damn. Ever...Show more »
Mipanko : I win.
Jack : Damn. Ever...Show more »
Jack : Biggly, biggly, biggly, biggly, biggly, biggly, bog.
Mipanko : I win.
Jack : Damn. Every time.
Grace : What are you doing?
Jack : Playing Biggly Bog.
Grace : Biggly what?
Jack : Bog. It's like Taggly Dip, but with dice.
Show less «
Mipanko : I win.
Jack : Damn. Every time.
Grace : What are you doing?
Jack : Playing Biggly Bog.
Grace : Biggly what?
Jack : Bog. It's like Taggly Dip, but with dice.
Show less «
Grace : Look, my choices were flawless, and if your client can't see that, then he is guilty of extr...Show more »
Grace : Look, my choices were flawless, and if your client can't see that, then he is guilty of extremely bad taste, and isn't that the real crime here today?
Will : Gracie, there is no...
Grace : Objection. The familiar cutening of my name implies we like each other.
Show less «
Will : Gracie, there is no...
Grace : Objection. The familiar cutening of my name implies we like each other.
Show less «
Karen : Well honey, look on the bright side.
Grace : What bright side?
Karen : Jeez Honey it's...Show more »
Grace : What bright side?
Karen : Jeez Honey it's...Show more »
Karen : Well honey, look on the bright side.
Grace : What bright side?
Karen : Jeez Honey it's just an expression.
Show less «
Grace : What bright side?
Karen : Jeez Honey it's just an expression.
Show less «
Jack : [about a very short guy Leo set Will up with] What we have here, is a pocket gay.
Will :...Show more »
Will :...Show more »
Jack : [about a very short guy Leo set Will up with] What we have here, is a pocket gay.
Will : A pocket gay?
Grace , Karen : A pocket gay?
Jack : A pocket gay.
Show less «
Will : A pocket gay?
Grace , Karen : A pocket gay?
Jack : A pocket gay.
Show less «
Bobbi Adler : Now Grace, I don't want you to freak out, but the biggest day of your life is ruined.<...Show more »
Bobbi Adler : Now Grace, I don't want you to freak out, but the biggest day of your life is ruined.
Grace : What?
Bobbi Adler : Your father's back went out.
Grace : Well how is he going to walk me down the aisle?
Bobbi Adler : Oh don't worry, we'll just put a pastrami sandwich under the Chuppah and he'll find his way there.
Show less «
Grace : What?
Bobbi Adler : Your father's back went out.
Grace : Well how is he going to walk me down the aisle?
Bobbi Adler : Oh don't worry, we'll just put a pastrami sandwich under the Chuppah and he'll find his way there.
Show less «
Grace : Where's Daddy?
Bobbi Adler : Oh, he's in Conneticut. Grandma Rose threatened to die.
Bobbi Adler : Oh, he's in Conneticut. Grandma Rose threatened to die.
Grace : Where's Daddy?
Bobbi Adler : Oh, he's in Conneticut. Grandma Rose threatened to die.
Bobbi Adler : Oh, he's in Conneticut. Grandma Rose threatened to die.
Grace : If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end wit...Show more »
Grace : If you're looking for your Aunt Karen, she's not here. She doesn't work on days that end with... "day."
Show less «
Show less «
Karen : Grace Alden. I'm ashamed...
Grace : Adler. My last name is Adler.
Karen : Oh... That's...Show more »
Grace : Adler. My last name is Adler.
Karen : Oh... That's...Show more »
Karen : Grace Alden. I'm ashamed...
Grace : Adler. My last name is Adler.
Karen : Oh... That's pretty.
Show less «
Grace : Adler. My last name is Adler.
Karen : Oh... That's pretty.
Show less «
[watching slides in her bedroom, depressed]
Grace : This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by...Show more »
Grace : This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by...Show more »
[watching slides in her bedroom, depressed]
Grace : This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by a truck. Lucky bastard.
Show less «
Grace : This was my puppy, BoBo. He got run over by a truck. Lucky bastard.
Show less «
Grace : On Christmas Eve, grandma lost both her legs to diabetes.
Jack : And then on Christmas Da...Show more »
Jack : And then on Christmas Da...Show more »
Grace : On Christmas Eve, grandma lost both her legs to diabetes.
Jack : And then on Christmas Day, she lost both her feet.
Show less «
Jack : And then on Christmas Day, she lost both her feet.
Show less «
Will : Grace, if you want to lose weight, try my diet. Whenever I want to eat I have a friend come o...Show more »
Will : Grace, if you want to lose weight, try my diet. Whenever I want to eat I have a friend come over and steal my food.
Jack , Grace : He's talking about you.
Show less «
Jack , Grace : He's talking about you.
Show less «
Will : So, what do you think about my therapist?
Grace : I like him. I like him like I like the S...Show more »
Grace : I like him. I like him like I like the S...Show more »
Will : So, what do you think about my therapist?
Grace : I like him. I like him like I like the Statue of Liberty. I know he's there but I don't need to see him all the time.
Will : Interesting analogy.
Show less «
Grace : I like him. I like him like I like the Statue of Liberty. I know he's there but I don't need to see him all the time.
Will : Interesting analogy.
Show less «
Jack : Guess what I just got off of eBay?
Grace : I don't know what you got, but I know a scooter...Show more »
Grace : I don't know what you got, but I know a scooter...Show more »
Jack : Guess what I just got off of eBay?
Grace : I don't know what you got, but I know a scooter that just won a homosexual.
Show less «
Grace : I don't know what you got, but I know a scooter that just won a homosexual.
Show less «
Jack : As you know, this weekend, my new show opens at the Duplex, and this year, I'm giving my fans...Show more »
Jack : As you know, this weekend, my new show opens at the Duplex, and this year, I'm giving my fans something I know they're dying for.
Grace : Their money back?
Show less «
Grace : Their money back?
Show less «
Fannie : Chest! Chest! You're not givin' it to me!
Grace : I don't have it to give!
Grace : I don't have it to give!
Fannie : Chest! Chest! You're not givin' it to me!
Grace : I don't have it to give!
Grace : I don't have it to give!
Will : You know, the female reproductive system is so amazing. It's a miracle, really. So complex. S...Show more »
Will : You know, the female reproductive system is so amazing. It's a miracle, really. So complex. So beautiful.Yow! What is that thing? God! It looks like the bad guy in a science fiction movie.
Grace : Oh, please. Like your stuff looks like a box full of kittens? It don't.
Show less «
Grace : Oh, please. Like your stuff looks like a box full of kittens? It don't.
Show less «
Grace : Face it Karen, your a racist.
Karen : How dare you call me a racist... Karen Walker is no...Show more »
Karen : How dare you call me a racist... Karen Walker is no...Show more »
Grace : Face it Karen, your a racist.
Karen : How dare you call me a racist... Karen Walker is no racist... A homophobe... Maybe... But I am no racist
[walks to the door and then turns back]
Karen : And you can ask anyone I own!
Show less «
Karen : How dare you call me a racist... Karen Walker is no racist... A homophobe... Maybe... But I am no racist
[walks to the door and then turns back]
Karen : And you can ask anyone I own!
Show less «
Grace : All I asked for was one month, one month to see where this is going.
Will : Oh let me tel...Show more »
Will : Oh let me tel...Show more »
Grace : All I asked for was one month, one month to see where this is going.
Will : Oh let me tell you where this is going. You'll end up hating him in three weeks because, I don't know, he has a weird chest hair pattern, or he doesn't like watching E... Or he'll end up hating you because you're too needy. Then you'll fall apart, I'll pick you up, and then magically, you'll be ready to have a baby.
Show less «
Will : Oh let me tell you where this is going. You'll end up hating him in three weeks because, I don't know, he has a weird chest hair pattern, or he doesn't like watching E... Or he'll end up hating you because you're too needy. Then you'll fall apart, I'll pick you up, and then magically, you'll be ready to have a baby.
Show less «
Karen : Honey, you're being so spiteful and vindictive.
Grace : Compliments? This early in the da...Show more »
Grace : Compliments? This early in the da...Show more »
Karen : Honey, you're being so spiteful and vindictive.
Grace : Compliments? This early in the day?
Show less «
Grace : Compliments? This early in the day?
Show less «
Karen : Oh honey, you're always the life of the party. Oh, speaking of parties, would you like me to...Show more »
Karen : Oh honey, you're always the life of the party. Oh, speaking of parties, would you like me to "RSTD" to Moe and Mary's?
Grace : Uh, I don't know Karen, I'm really not in the party mood.
Karen : There'll be a nice cake.
Grace : I do like a nice cake.
Show less «
Grace : Uh, I don't know Karen, I'm really not in the party mood.
Karen : There'll be a nice cake.
Grace : I do like a nice cake.
Show less «
Grace : We're all here for you, right Karen?
Karen : Why wasn't I your girlfriend, queerbait?
...Show more »
Karen : Why wasn't I your girlfriend, queerbait?
...Show more »
Grace : We're all here for you, right Karen?
Karen : Why wasn't I your girlfriend, queerbait?
Jack : What?
Karen : You told your mother that Grace was your girlfriend, how could you?
Jack : But I didn't even know you when I made up that lie.
Karen : Oh yeah, but when you did, you should have broken up with her, and hooked up with me.
Jack : You're married, I'm gay.
Karen : Not in the lie.
Show less «
Karen : Why wasn't I your girlfriend, queerbait?
Jack : What?
Karen : You told your mother that Grace was your girlfriend, how could you?
Jack : But I didn't even know you when I made up that lie.
Karen : Oh yeah, but when you did, you should have broken up with her, and hooked up with me.
Jack : You're married, I'm gay.
Karen : Not in the lie.
Show less «
Grace : I don't like the view.
Will : You just don't like Ben.
Grace : That's right the view o...Show more »
Will : You just don't like Ben.
Grace : That's right the view o...Show more »
Grace : I don't like the view.
Will : You just don't like Ben.
Grace : That's right the view of Ben.
Show less «
Will : You just don't like Ben.
Grace : That's right the view of Ben.
Show less «
Will : The last thing I need in my life right now is somebody else's drama
[Grace opens door to r...Show more »
[Grace opens door to r...Show more »
Will : The last thing I need in my life right now is somebody else's drama
[Grace opens door to reveal Jack]
Jack : My wife is cheating on me, my life is ruined, Will help me!
Grace : Enter the drama queen, exit the neighbor.
[Grace exits]
Jack : Can you believe this? She wants to divorce me and marry Gardener! I'm out on the street!
Will : That's shocking. Is there any way you can tell me about this without screeching like a howler monkey?
Jack : [extremely high pitched] You know what, I don't need you! I have plenty of friends who would be more than happy to help me through this! Goodbye!
[Long pause, neither moves]
Will : You don't even pretend to leave anymore, do you?
Show less «
[Grace opens door to reveal Jack]
Jack : My wife is cheating on me, my life is ruined, Will help me!
Grace : Enter the drama queen, exit the neighbor.
[Grace exits]
Jack : Can you believe this? She wants to divorce me and marry Gardener! I'm out on the street!
Will : That's shocking. Is there any way you can tell me about this without screeching like a howler monkey?
Jack : [extremely high pitched] You know what, I don't need you! I have plenty of friends who would be more than happy to help me through this! Goodbye!
[Long pause, neither moves]
Will : You don't even pretend to leave anymore, do you?
Show less «
Karen : Grace, my head is spinning. and not in a good way.
Grace : OK,let my try an experiment I ...Show more »
Grace : OK,let my try an experiment I ...Show more »
Karen : Grace, my head is spinning. and not in a good way.
Grace : OK,let my try an experiment I did in college.
[Karen sighs then grabs Grace's face as if she is going to kiss her]
Karen : All right one kiss and back to work.
Grace : Not that kind of experiment.
Show less «
Grace : OK,let my try an experiment I did in college.
[Karen sighs then grabs Grace's face as if she is going to kiss her]
Karen : All right one kiss and back to work.
Grace : Not that kind of experiment.
Show less «
Gillian : [talking about Karen] She sends me to the coolest places, right? I mean, like yesterday....Show more »
Gillian : [talking about Karen] She sends me to the coolest places, right? I mean, like yesterday. She sent me to Tiffany's and Barney's. She even sent me to the dog groomer to get the gray out of her poodle. Well... they couldn't because, well, it's a gray poodle.
Grace : I'm sorry. She shouldn't have you running errands.
Gillian : No, no. It was great. I mean, the moment I mentioned her name at Barney's, people just started kissing my ass. I got a glass of champagne, a personal shopper, and a Percocet. It was awesome.
Grace : Well, you should see what happens when you mention my name at The Rug Barn. You get a glass of cold mint tea and a rough kiss from a guy named Misha.
Show less «
Grace : I'm sorry. She shouldn't have you running errands.
Gillian : No, no. It was great. I mean, the moment I mentioned her name at Barney's, people just started kissing my ass. I got a glass of champagne, a personal shopper, and a Percocet. It was awesome.
Grace : Well, you should see what happens when you mention my name at The Rug Barn. You get a glass of cold mint tea and a rough kiss from a guy named Misha.
Show less «
Grace : When we broke up it was for totally different reasons. I wanted to raise the kids Jewish, yo...Show more »
Grace : When we broke up it was for totally different reasons. I wanted to raise the kids Jewish, you wanted to sleep with men.
Show less «
Show less «
Grace : I don't need to have two gay guys laughing at me. I get enough of that at home
Grace : I don't need to have two gay guys laughing at me. I get enough of that at home
Will : I don't hate Andy, I like Andy.
Grace : Well, Humphrey Bogart liked Ingrid Bergman but he ...Show more »
Grace : Well, Humphrey Bogart liked Ingrid Bergman but he ...Show more »
Will : I don't hate Andy, I like Andy.
Grace : Well, Humphrey Bogart liked Ingrid Bergman but he gave her up for the good of the Resistance.
Will : Have you been swinging from powerlines?
Show less «
Grace : Well, Humphrey Bogart liked Ingrid Bergman but he gave her up for the good of the Resistance.
Will : Have you been swinging from powerlines?
Show less «
Will : I just spent an hour with Nathan at the Tight End.
Grace : Oh God, if you're gonna tell me...Show more »
Grace : Oh God, if you're gonna tell me...Show more »
Will : I just spent an hour with Nathan at the Tight End.
Grace : Oh God, if you're gonna tell me he's gay I'm gonna have a freakin' heart attack.
Show less «
Grace : Oh God, if you're gonna tell me he's gay I'm gonna have a freakin' heart attack.
Show less «
Alex : [on the phone] Come on Will, tell the truth, you're actually a married man with wife and ki...Show more »
Alex : [on the phone] Come on Will, tell the truth, you're actually a married man with wife and kids with no intention to ever see me again.
Will : Nothing could be more far away from the truth.
Grace : [entering and yelling] Good Morning sweety. Oh my God, is that bacon? I love you, I love you, I love you.
Show less «
Will : Nothing could be more far away from the truth.
Grace : [entering and yelling] Good Morning sweety. Oh my God, is that bacon? I love you, I love you, I love you.
Show less «
Grace : Fine, I don't need to go out with you guys. I have a kick ass night planned.
Will : OK, a...Show more »
Will : OK, a...Show more »
Grace : Fine, I don't need to go out with you guys. I have a kick ass night planned.
Will : OK, ant traps are under the sink.
Grace : Thanks.
Show less «
Will : OK, ant traps are under the sink.
Grace : Thanks.
Show less «
[Grace is asking Will to help her choose a dress]
Grace : This one's slitty... this one's slutt...Show more »
Grace : This one's slitty... this one's slutt...Show more »
[Grace is asking Will to help her choose a dress]
Grace : This one's slitty... this one's slutty... this one's titty... this one's butty.
Show less «
Grace : This one's slitty... this one's slutty... this one's titty... this one's butty.
Show less «
Grace : No, he is not laughing at you. He is laughing with me, who is laughing at you.
Grace : No, he is not laughing at you. He is laughing with me, who is laughing at you.
Grace : I ran into Leo. But you can't tell Will I found out. I mean, *I* know, but he doesn't know I...Show more »
Grace : I ran into Leo. But you can't tell Will I found out. I mean, *I* know, but he doesn't know I know. And now that you know I know, you can't let Will know that you know I know, you know?
Jack : No... do you know?
Karen : I think I know, but I'm sure I don't care.
Show less «
Jack : No... do you know?
Karen : I think I know, but I'm sure I don't care.
Show less «
[Grace introduces Karen to her intern]
Grace : Let me move you over here, in the unlikely event...Show more »
Grace : Let me move you over here, in the unlikely event...Show more »
[Grace introduces Karen to her intern]
Grace : Let me move you over here, in the unlikely event that she unhinges her jaw and swallows you whole.
Show less «
Grace : Let me move you over here, in the unlikely event that she unhinges her jaw and swallows you whole.
Show less «
Will : Stanley Walker was a great man.
Grace : A nice man.
Jack : A FAT man.
Will : He was ...Show more »
Grace : A nice man.
Jack : A FAT man.
Will : He was ...Show more »
Will : Stanley Walker was a great man.
Grace : A nice man.
Jack : A FAT man.
Will : He was a decent man.
Grace : A kind man.
Jack : A surprisingly good dancer.
Show less «
Grace : A nice man.
Jack : A FAT man.
Will : He was a decent man.
Grace : A kind man.
Jack : A surprisingly good dancer.
Show less «
Grace : [on the phone] Yes. This is Grace Adler of Grace Adler Designs. I was in there yesterday. ...Show more »
Grace : [on the phone] Yes. This is Grace Adler of Grace Adler Designs. I was in there yesterday. I told you I would be back today. And now you're telling me you're all out? Do you know how much business I've given you over the years? How much money I've spent? You idiots never make enough chili.
[Slams down the phone]
Show less «
[Slams down the phone]
Show less «
Jack : [to Grace] What I know is, a grown woman shouldn't wear pigtails.
Will : Yeah, what's th...Show more »
Will : Yeah, what's th...Show more »
Jack : [to Grace] What I know is, a grown woman shouldn't wear pigtails.
Will : Yeah, what's that about, Pipi?
Grace : You know, I really didn't want to be invited to the 'bitch brunch'.
Show less «
Will : Yeah, what's that about, Pipi?
Grace : You know, I really didn't want to be invited to the 'bitch brunch'.
Show less «
Mrs. Markus : Don't worry, Grace, Marvin will fill you in on everything.
Grace : Who's Marvin?Show more »
Grace : Who's Marvin?
Mrs. Markus : Don't worry, Grace, Marvin will fill you in on everything.
Grace : Who's Marvin?
Leo : I'm Marvin.
Grace : Your name is Marvin?
Leo : Yeah, but people have always called me 'Leo' because... my name is Marvin.
Show less «
Grace : Who's Marvin?
Leo : I'm Marvin.
Grace : Your name is Marvin?
Leo : Yeah, but people have always called me 'Leo' because... my name is Marvin.
Show less «
Grace : OK, this has been driving me crazy, and I can't keep it in any longer. There's something I r...Show more »
Grace : OK, this has been driving me crazy, and I can't keep it in any longer. There's something I really need to tell you. I have been dating your shrink.
Will : [in unison with Grace] Dating my shrink.
Grace : How did you know?
Will : Well, let's just say he's used my sessions to figure out a way to get into Graceland.
Show less «
Will : [in unison with Grace] Dating my shrink.
Grace : How did you know?
Will : Well, let's just say he's used my sessions to figure out a way to get into Graceland.
Show less «
[Jack has his feet up on Grace's table]
Jack : I'm too much of a giver. That's right. I give a ...Show more »
Jack : I'm too much of a giver. That's right. I give a ...Show more »
[Jack has his feet up on Grace's table]
Jack : I'm too much of a giver. That's right. I give a little bit too much. Always putting other people's needs before mine. Well, no more. Before it used to be World, Jack. Now it's Jack, World.
Grace : Hey, Jack-world, how about you move your Jack-feet before I kick your Jack-ass?
Show less «
Jack : I'm too much of a giver. That's right. I give a little bit too much. Always putting other people's needs before mine. Well, no more. Before it used to be World, Jack. Now it's Jack, World.
Grace : Hey, Jack-world, how about you move your Jack-feet before I kick your Jack-ass?
Show less «
[on top of a building just before Grace's wedding]
Grace : We have been up here before, remembe...Show more »
Grace : We have been up here before, remembe...Show more »
[on top of a building just before Grace's wedding]
Grace : We have been up here before, remember?
Will : No, that building was across the street from that juice store.
Grace : Paradise Juice. See right where that parking lot is.
Will : They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.
Show less «
Grace : We have been up here before, remember?
Will : No, that building was across the street from that juice store.
Grace : Paradise Juice. See right where that parking lot is.
Will : They paved paradise and put up a parking lot.
Show less «
Grace : Oh my god. Jack got turned on by a woman? Well, he couldn't be straight, so, what, now he's ...Show more »
Grace : Oh my god. Jack got turned on by a woman? Well, he couldn't be straight, so, what, now he's a lesbian?
Show less «
Show less «
[Val has stolen Grace's music box, which plays "Hava Nagila", and claimed it is hers]
Will : Ho...Show more »
Will : Ho...Show more »
[Val has stolen Grace's music box, which plays "Hava Nagila", and claimed it is hers]
Will : How long have you had it?
Val : Oh, for, like, forever.
Will : Oh, what's it play?
Val : This old Irish song that I love.
Will : Sweet. Can I hear it?
Val : Sure.
[opens the music box, singing along]
Val : Gosh and begorra, gosh and begorra, gosh and begorra, my Irish eyes...
Grace : [shrieking] It's 'Hava Nagila'! It's not an Irish song! It's an ancient Hebrew song about... something Jewish!
Show less «
Will : How long have you had it?
Val : Oh, for, like, forever.
Will : Oh, what's it play?
Val : This old Irish song that I love.
Will : Sweet. Can I hear it?
Val : Sure.
[opens the music box, singing along]
Val : Gosh and begorra, gosh and begorra, gosh and begorra, my Irish eyes...
Grace : [shrieking] It's 'Hava Nagila'! It's not an Irish song! It's an ancient Hebrew song about... something Jewish!
Show less «
Karen : Honey, my mother wants to do something for herself and that gives me a beautiful feeling.Show more »
Karen : Honey, my mother wants to do something for herself and that gives me a beautiful feeling.
Grace : So do the little blue pills you take every fifteen minutes from the bottle labeled "Beautiful Feeling!"
Show less «
Grace : So do the little blue pills you take every fifteen minutes from the bottle labeled "Beautiful Feeling!"
Show less «
Dr. Leo Markus : Grace, I have to go to Guatamala to help out some doctors down there.
Grace : Yo...Show more »
Grace : Yo...Show more »
Dr. Leo Markus : Grace, I have to go to Guatamala to help out some doctors down there.
Grace : You're going back to Africa?
Dr. Leo Markus : Yes. And while I'm there I'm gonna buy you an atlas.
Show less «
Grace : You're going back to Africa?
Dr. Leo Markus : Yes. And while I'm there I'm gonna buy you an atlas.
Show less «
Grace : Who's Diane?
Jack : Oh, Diane is the woman Will slept with after he broke up with you. Yo...Show more »
Jack : Oh, Diane is the woman Will slept with after he broke up with you. Yo...Show more »
Grace : Who's Diane?
Jack : Oh, Diane is the woman Will slept with after he broke up with you. You knew about that. You told her.
[Grace looks hurt]
Jack : You didn't know about that? You didn't tell her?
[Grace gets up and walks out]
Will : Wait, Grace. Jack, when we get home I am going to rip your heart out through your foot.
Show less «
Jack : Oh, Diane is the woman Will slept with after he broke up with you. You knew about that. You told her.
[Grace looks hurt]
Jack : You didn't know about that? You didn't tell her?
[Grace gets up and walks out]
Will : Wait, Grace. Jack, when we get home I am going to rip your heart out through your foot.
Show less «
[to Karen]
Grace : Put the catalog down... you have everything in it.
Grace : Put the catalog down... you have everything in it.
[to Karen]
Grace : Put the catalog down... you have everything in it.
Grace : Put the catalog down... you have everything in it.
Grace : You said that money is no object.
Karen : Oh honey, that's just a saying, like 'Ooh. That...Show more »
Karen : Oh honey, that's just a saying, like 'Ooh. That...Show more »
Grace : You said that money is no object.
Karen : Oh honey, that's just a saying, like 'Ooh. That sounds like fun.' or 'I love you'.
Show less «
Karen : Oh honey, that's just a saying, like 'Ooh. That sounds like fun.' or 'I love you'.
Show less «
[Will is telling Grace about his sexual encounter with a woman after he dumped Grace]
Will : Gr...Show more »
Will : Gr...Show more »
[Will is telling Grace about his sexual encounter with a woman after he dumped Grace]
Will : Grace, I just wanted to see for sure. It was really bad.
Grace : Well, why couldn't it have been bad with me?
Will : Because I love you. I had to do it with someone I didn't love. And I love you. I couldn't do that to you.
Show less «
Will : Grace, I just wanted to see for sure. It was really bad.
Grace : Well, why couldn't it have been bad with me?
Will : Because I love you. I had to do it with someone I didn't love. And I love you. I couldn't do that to you.
Show less «
[Will and Grace are playing Pictionary]
Grace : A duck. A chicken. An emu. Uma Thurman. Shamu. ...Show more »
Grace : A duck. A chicken. An emu. Uma Thurman. Shamu. ...Show more »
[Will and Grace are playing Pictionary]
Grace : A duck. A chicken. An emu. Uma Thurman. Shamu. Okay, no. Okay. The sun. The moon. Reverend Sun Myung Moon. An eclipse. Eclair. Claire Danes. A great dane. Dame Judy Dench. Dame Maggie Smith...
Will : Enough with the dames.
Show less «
Grace : A duck. A chicken. An emu. Uma Thurman. Shamu. Okay, no. Okay. The sun. The moon. Reverend Sun Myung Moon. An eclipse. Eclair. Claire Danes. A great dane. Dame Judy Dench. Dame Maggie Smith...
Will : Enough with the dames.
Show less «
Karen : Grace, remember that afternoon and we were walking down 5th Avenue and you saw that ring in ...Show more »
Karen : Grace, remember that afternoon and we were walking down 5th Avenue and you saw that ring in the window of Tiffany's and you said to me, "I would give anything to buy that ring"?
Grace : Yeah?
Karen : I bought it for myself.
Show less «
Grace : Yeah?
Karen : I bought it for myself.
Show less «
Karen : How about a toast...
Karen , Jack : To Will and Grace's baby.
Will : I can't believe y...Show more »
Karen , Jack : To Will and Grace's baby.
Will : I can't believe y...Show more »
Karen : How about a toast...
Karen , Jack : To Will and Grace's baby.
Will : I can't believe you told her.
Grace : I can't believe you told him.
Will : He doesn't count, he never listens.
Grace : She doesn't count, she's always buzzed.
Karen : Hey, hey, hey. Hey, c'mon now... where are we?
Jack : ...I'm sorry, what?
Show less «
Karen , Jack : To Will and Grace's baby.
Will : I can't believe you told her.
Grace : I can't believe you told him.
Will : He doesn't count, he never listens.
Grace : She doesn't count, she's always buzzed.
Karen : Hey, hey, hey. Hey, c'mon now... where are we?
Jack : ...I'm sorry, what?
Show less «
Grace : Karen, please tell me that you didn't drink your lunch yet.
Karen : Honey, I just finishe...Show more »
Karen : Honey, I just finishe...Show more »
Grace : Karen, please tell me that you didn't drink your lunch yet.
Karen : Honey, I just finished drinking breakfast. You've got to give the liver a little time to digest.
Show less «
Karen : Honey, I just finished drinking breakfast. You've got to give the liver a little time to digest.
Show less «
[Grace sees Nathan passed out with Will and Jack on a bed]
Grace : Oh my God. I turned another ...Show more »
Grace : Oh my God. I turned another ...Show more »
[Grace sees Nathan passed out with Will and Jack on a bed]
Grace : Oh my God. I turned another one.
Show less «
Grace : Oh my God. I turned another one.
Show less «
Grace : Ok, now, remember, Karen. Not a word about...
Karen : [NODDING] Oh. John Goodman.
Gr...Show more »
Karen : [NODDING] Oh. John Goodman.
Gr...Show more »
Grace : Ok, now, remember, Karen. Not a word about...
Karen : [NODDING] Oh. John Goodman.
Grace : Yes, Karen. John Goodman. Also try to avoid the subject of baby.
Show less «
Karen : [NODDING] Oh. John Goodman.
Grace : Yes, Karen. John Goodman. Also try to avoid the subject of baby.
Show less «
Grace : I see the way you look at me when I shave my legs.
Will : Well, that's because it happens...Show more »
Will : Well, that's because it happens...Show more »
Grace : I see the way you look at me when I shave my legs.
Will : Well, that's because it happens so infrequently, I have to take a minute to figure out what you're doing.
Show less «
Will : Well, that's because it happens so infrequently, I have to take a minute to figure out what you're doing.
Show less «
[Karen is feeling depressed]
Grace : I need you to do me a favor... I need you to hit on Karen....Show more »
Grace : I need you to do me a favor... I need you to hit on Karen....Show more »
[Karen is feeling depressed]
Grace : I need you to do me a favor... I need you to hit on Karen.
[pause]
Ben Doucette : Please tell me you just said you need me to PUT a hit on Karen.
Show less «
Grace : I need you to do me a favor... I need you to hit on Karen.
[pause]
Ben Doucette : Please tell me you just said you need me to PUT a hit on Karen.
Show less «
[Jack and Grace are cooking]
Jack : This looks hard.
Grace : Jack, it's four packs of Easy M...Show more »
Jack : This looks hard.
Grace : Jack, it's four packs of Easy M...Show more »
[Jack and Grace are cooking]
Jack : This looks hard.
Grace : Jack, it's four packs of Easy Mac.
[pause]
Grace : It's *really* hard.
Show less «
Jack : This looks hard.
Grace : Jack, it's four packs of Easy Mac.
[pause]
Grace : It's *really* hard.
Show less «
[Grace shows Will a bowl of microwaved mac and cheese]
Grace : Look, Will. We've been cooking.<...Show more »
Grace : Look, Will. We've been cooking.<...Show more »
[Grace shows Will a bowl of microwaved mac and cheese]
Grace : Look, Will. We've been cooking.
Will : Oh, a cuisine of Chef Boy-Are-You-Lazy.
Show less «
Grace : Look, Will. We've been cooking.
Will : Oh, a cuisine of Chef Boy-Are-You-Lazy.
Show less «
Will : Your dad's great.
Grace : Yeah, in a parallel universe where my hair is straight and so ar...Show more »
Grace : Yeah, in a parallel universe where my hair is straight and so ar...Show more »
Will : Your dad's great.
Grace : Yeah, in a parallel universe where my hair is straight and so are you.
Show less «
Grace : Yeah, in a parallel universe where my hair is straight and so are you.
Show less «
Grace : Thanks for taking me out to dinner, Kar.
Karen : Well, honey, it's like the old song goes...Show more »
Karen : Well, honey, it's like the old song goes...Show more »
Grace : Thanks for taking me out to dinner, Kar.
Karen : Well, honey, it's like the old song goes - anyone deserves a free meal who has Will's sperm inside them.
Grace : I think that was from "You're a Gay Dad, Charlie Brown."
Show less «
Karen : Well, honey, it's like the old song goes - anyone deserves a free meal who has Will's sperm inside them.
Grace : I think that was from "You're a Gay Dad, Charlie Brown."
Show less «
Leo : Are you jealous about them?
Grace : No, I'm not jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous....Show more »
Grace : No, I'm not jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous....Show more »
Leo : Are you jealous about them?
Grace : No, I'm not jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous. Because I am *not* jealous.
Leo : You're not making any sense.
Grace : Oh, so suddenly you're the president of things that make sense?
Show less «
Grace : No, I'm not jealous. And I'll tell you why I'm jealous. Because I am *not* jealous.
Leo : You're not making any sense.
Grace : Oh, so suddenly you're the president of things that make sense?
Show less «
[Grace has just walked in and found Will, Jack, and Nathan entangled and asleep in bed together] Show more »
[Grace has just walked in and found Will, Jack, and Nathan entangled and asleep in bed together]
Grace Adler : Grace: Oh, my God, I've turned another one!
Show less «
Grace Adler : Grace: Oh, my God, I've turned another one!
Show less «
Karen Walker : I'm going to grab some lunch with some of the other gals from the typing pool.
[Gr...Show more »
[Gr...Show more »
Karen Walker : I'm going to grab some lunch with some of the other gals from the typing pool.
[Grace stares at her in disbelief]
Karen Walker : Oh, it's Zoe's birthday! Fran made cupcakes!
[she giggles]
Karen Walker : [she leaves the room]
Grace : Cupcakes...! Frickin' nutbag! Craaazy!
Show less «
[Grace stares at her in disbelief]
Karen Walker : Oh, it's Zoe's birthday! Fran made cupcakes!
[she giggles]
Karen Walker : [she leaves the room]
Grace : Cupcakes...! Frickin' nutbag! Craaazy!
Show less «
Grace : Are you wearing smarty-pants, because that was a great idea!
Jack : Well, no, but I might...Show more »
Jack : Well, no, but I might...Show more »
Grace : Are you wearing smarty-pants, because that was a great idea!
Jack : Well, no, but I might be wearing a witty thong!
Show less «
Jack : Well, no, but I might be wearing a witty thong!
Show less «
Grace : [making up a story about a vase they brought at a nick-nack store] It's a sad story actual...Show more »
Grace : [making up a story about a vase they brought at a nick-nack store] It's a sad story actually, it's the only thing that survived the fire that burned down the house when Grams accidentally answered the iron.
Jack : With her hook!
Show less «
Jack : With her hook!
Show less «
[Will's elementary school nemesis, Kevin Wolchek, has come to work at his firm]
Grace : Sweetie...Show more »
Grace : Sweetie...Show more »
[Will's elementary school nemesis, Kevin Wolchek, has come to work at his firm]
Grace : Sweetie, are you gonna be okay? You sure you don't want me to stick around in case Kevin comes back? You know I'm a good biter. I once bit a jump rope in half.
Will : Why?
Grace : [pause] What d'you mean, "why"?
Show less «
Grace : Sweetie, are you gonna be okay? You sure you don't want me to stick around in case Kevin comes back? You know I'm a good biter. I once bit a jump rope in half.
Will : Why?
Grace : [pause] What d'you mean, "why"?
Show less «
[after ripping open Grace's trousers]
Fanny Lieber : Oh... you're Jewish.
Grace : [long paus...Show more »
Fanny Lieber : Oh... you're Jewish.
Grace : [long paus...Show more »
[after ripping open Grace's trousers]
Fanny Lieber : Oh... you're Jewish.
Grace : [long pause] How... how can you tell that?
Fanny Lieber : Cheap underwear.
Show less «
Fanny Lieber : Oh... you're Jewish.
Grace : [long pause] How... how can you tell that?
Fanny Lieber : Cheap underwear.
Show less «
Grace : I thought this could be a theme party. Nathan and me, Jack and his father, Karen and her dri...Show more »
Grace : I thought this could be a theme party. Nathan and me, Jack and his father, Karen and her drink.
[to her martini]
Karen : Thanks for coming.
Show less «
[to her martini]
Karen : Thanks for coming.
Show less «
Grace : I just gave a quarter to a homeless guy, I think it was Johnny Depp.
Grace : I just gave a quarter to a homeless guy, I think it was Johnny Depp.
Grace : [about Jack going back to Karen after sleeping with grace] What were his exact words again...Show more »
Grace : [about Jack going back to Karen after sleeping with grace] What were his exact words again?, my Harald and Maud faze is so over.
Show less «
Show less «
Karen : [in a luandramat] What is this place? It's pretty.
[starts to tap on a washing machine]...Show more »
[starts to tap on a washing machine]...Show more »
Karen : [in a luandramat] What is this place? It's pretty.
[starts to tap on a washing machine]
Karen : Where are all the fishes?
Grace : No Karen this is a laundramat, normal people wash their clothes and wear them again.
Karen : Well poor people are just plain clever.
Show less «
[starts to tap on a washing machine]
Karen : Where are all the fishes?
Grace : No Karen this is a laundramat, normal people wash their clothes and wear them again.
Karen : Well poor people are just plain clever.
Show less «
Will : Where's all the Chinese food?
Grace : Oh, I opened it up and started to eat it and then I ...Show more »
Grace : Oh, I opened it up and started to eat it and then I ...Show more »
Will : Where's all the Chinese food?
Grace : Oh, I opened it up and started to eat it and then I noticed a hair in it. So I called the restaurant to complain and they were like "Well, how do you know its not your hair?" and I said "Well, I know what my hair tastes like." Anyway, I got so disgusted, I threw it all out.
Will : You ate all of it, didn't you?
Grace : Yes, I did.
Show less «
Grace : Oh, I opened it up and started to eat it and then I noticed a hair in it. So I called the restaurant to complain and they were like "Well, how do you know its not your hair?" and I said "Well, I know what my hair tastes like." Anyway, I got so disgusted, I threw it all out.
Will : You ate all of it, didn't you?
Grace : Yes, I did.
Show less «
Grace : What, did you think I wouldn't find out?
Leo : Grace, I told you.
Grace : Yes, but I w...Show more »
Leo : Grace, I told you.
Grace : Yes, but I w...Show more »
Grace : What, did you think I wouldn't find out?
Leo : Grace, I told you.
Grace : Yes, but I would have found out. I have connections.
Leo : In Cambodia?
Grace : YES CHEATER, IN CAMBODIA!
Show less «
Leo : Grace, I told you.
Grace : Yes, but I would have found out. I have connections.
Leo : In Cambodia?
Grace : YES CHEATER, IN CAMBODIA!
Show less «
[Grace is redecorating Jack's apartment, and Karen is paying]
Jack : [spreads arms] I've got ...Show more »
Jack : [spreads arms] I've got ...Show more »
[Grace is redecorating Jack's apartment, and Karen is paying]
Jack : [spreads arms] I've got it! A skylight.
Grace : [exasperated] Jack, we have already gone over this. You cannot put a skylight on the ninth floor of a 12-story building.
Jack : [screeching] Karen, I can't work like this!
Show less «
Jack : [spreads arms] I've got it! A skylight.
Grace : [exasperated] Jack, we have already gone over this. You cannot put a skylight on the ninth floor of a 12-story building.
Jack : [screeching] Karen, I can't work like this!
Show less «
Grace : Fine, if you want to spend our traditional Haunnukah dinner time with Jack, then that's fine...Show more »
Grace : Fine, if you want to spend our traditional Haunnukah dinner time with Jack, then that's fine. But all I'm sayin' is, betta' him than me!
[Storms away]
Bobbi Adler : [to resteraunt patrons] You'll have to forgive her. She's never really forgiven me for being the prettier sister.
Show less «
[Storms away]
Bobbi Adler : [to resteraunt patrons] You'll have to forgive her. She's never really forgiven me for being the prettier sister.
Show less «
Grace : Will, I'm serious. I haven't made any of the major decisions. I mean, who will I give my thi...Show more »
Grace : Will, I'm serious. I haven't made any of the major decisions. I mean, who will I give my things to? What will happen to my business? Where will I be buried?
Will : Well, your business will go under. Your things are my things, so I'll just take them back. And I always figured I'd have you stuffed, and keep you by the front door to prop up umbrellas.
Grace : I wanna do a will.
Will : Yeah, well, get in line behind all the other ladies!
Show less «
Will : Well, your business will go under. Your things are my things, so I'll just take them back. And I always figured I'd have you stuffed, and keep you by the front door to prop up umbrellas.
Grace : I wanna do a will.
Will : Yeah, well, get in line behind all the other ladies!
Show less «
Grace : Hi, Karen. How are you?
Karen : [walks to an open window, and shouts out] Stanley Walke...Show more »
Karen : [walks to an open window, and shouts out] Stanley Walke...Show more »
Grace : Hi, Karen. How are you?
Karen : [walks to an open window, and shouts out] Stanley Walker is a pig and I hope he rots in hell!
Karen : [walks away from window and calmly replies to Grace] I'm fine, thanks. How you doing?
Show less «
Karen : [walks to an open window, and shouts out] Stanley Walker is a pig and I hope he rots in hell!
Karen : [walks away from window and calmly replies to Grace] I'm fine, thanks. How you doing?
Show less «
Grace : [Grace has picked up some slogans at an A.A. meeting] "Let go and let God."
Karen : Whe...Show more »
Karen : Whe...Show more »
Grace : [Grace has picked up some slogans at an A.A. meeting] "Let go and let God."
Karen : Where did you hear that? Who taught you that hate speech?
Show less «
Karen : Where did you hear that? Who taught you that hate speech?
Show less «
Grace : It just creeps me out. Like anything that ends with "mini-teeth" or "mini-hair".
Will : H...Show more »
Will : H...Show more »
Grace : It just creeps me out. Like anything that ends with "mini-teeth" or "mini-hair".
Will : Here we go...
Grace : On the Discovery Channel, there was this guy with a tumor that had mini-teeth and mini-hair, and when they poked it, it said "Ow"!
Will : It did not say "Ow".
Grace : Well, if it had mini-lips, it would have.
Show less «
Will : Here we go...
Grace : On the Discovery Channel, there was this guy with a tumor that had mini-teeth and mini-hair, and when they poked it, it said "Ow"!
Will : It did not say "Ow".
Grace : Well, if it had mini-lips, it would have.
Show less «
Karen : What's that, honey?
Grace : Funnel cake
Karen : Can I have some?
Grace : [Innocentl...Show more »
Grace : Funnel cake
Karen : Can I have some?
Grace : [Innocentl...Show more »
Karen : What's that, honey?
Grace : Funnel cake
Karen : Can I have some?
Grace : [Innocently] Yeah, the stand is right over there...
Show less «
Grace : Funnel cake
Karen : Can I have some?
Grace : [Innocently] Yeah, the stand is right over there...
Show less «
Grace : It's a recurring dream. I keep having it over and over and over and over.
Jack : I see. I...Show more »
Jack : I see. I...Show more »
Grace : It's a recurring dream. I keep having it over and over and over and over.
Jack : I see. Is this the first time you've had it?
Grace : That's a good question, Jack. Okay, anyway. In my dream, I'm on the subway completely naked. And then, all of a sudden, that hot gardener from "Desperate Housewives" gets on, and he puts his hand on my breast. Then that hot smart guy from "Jeopardy!" gets on and puts his hand on my other breast. Then that hot Korean guy from "Lost" gets on and puts his hand on my other breast. Oh, yeah, in this dream I have three breasts.
Show less «
Jack : I see. Is this the first time you've had it?
Grace : That's a good question, Jack. Okay, anyway. In my dream, I'm on the subway completely naked. And then, all of a sudden, that hot gardener from "Desperate Housewives" gets on, and he puts his hand on my breast. Then that hot smart guy from "Jeopardy!" gets on and puts his hand on my other breast. Then that hot Korean guy from "Lost" gets on and puts his hand on my other breast. Oh, yeah, in this dream I have three breasts.
Show less «
[after dropping noodles on the ground]
Grace : Oh no, my noodles.
Owner : That's okay, we ge...Show more »
Grace : Oh no, my noodles.
Owner : That's okay, we ge...Show more »
[after dropping noodles on the ground]
Grace : Oh no, my noodles.
Owner : That's okay, we get you 'nother.
Grace : Oh, thank you, thank you.
Owner : That will be 7.95.
Grace : What? You don't pay for the second noodles. And everyone knows you're suppose to say, "hot plate, hot plate," when something's hot.
[Later, Grace finds Karen & Jack in Happy Noodle, after they swore not to go in]
Owner : And Karen, since you've been here all week, we give you one on the house.
[Flashes a glance at Grace]
Owner : Hot plate, hot plate
Show less «
Grace : Oh no, my noodles.
Owner : That's okay, we get you 'nother.
Grace : Oh, thank you, thank you.
Owner : That will be 7.95.
Grace : What? You don't pay for the second noodles. And everyone knows you're suppose to say, "hot plate, hot plate," when something's hot.
[Later, Grace finds Karen & Jack in Happy Noodle, after they swore not to go in]
Owner : And Karen, since you've been here all week, we give you one on the house.
[Flashes a glance at Grace]
Owner : Hot plate, hot plate
Show less «
HD
Annabelle: Creation
IMDb: 7
2017
109 min
Country: United States
Genre: Thriller, Horror, Mystery
Twelve years after the tragic death of their little girl, a dollmaker and his wife welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into ...
